Love: Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to...

By Anonymous - 12/12/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 960

You deserved it 4 243

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/06/2016 23:24 - United States - Winder

Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 559

You deserved it 1 090

The best part of breaking up…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 23:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 045

You deserved it 8 843

By PanFace - 13/10/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 117

You deserved it 121 362

By Mouhahaa - 09/05/2012 03:48 - France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 655

You deserved it 36 372

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 183

Fight clubbed

By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 02:00

Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 140

By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 02:02 - United States

Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 341

You deserved it 5 249

By Anonymous - 27/08/2012 02:56 - United States - Riverside

Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument, which resulted in her begging for a divorce, and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 864

You deserved it 2 478

Heavy sleeper

By good_aim - 27/07/2013 08:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 303

You deserved it 26 914

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 21:33 - United States - Carrollton

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 245

You deserved it 6 562

WCARlover 34

Monday 12 December 2011 8:52

OP and wife fought OP went downstairs to couch OP's wife grabbed spoon Spoon can be used to hurt people OP afraid

SilentTreatment 7

Monday 12 December 2011 9:06

Well since OP isn't sleeping in the same bed with her, she probably wanted something to spoon with! :P

Comments

jmbarber 0

Monday 12 December 2011 16:37

couldve been a large metal knife.

kookylocka 0

Monday 12 December 2011 17:02

You're a goner. You'll be stirred to death..

danomite11 0

Monday 12 December 2011 17:24

Dont worry bro, shes just gonna use it as a big, shiny *****.... I hope

Semm 0

Monday 12 December 2011 17:24

#19 I see what you did there!

hateevryone 14

Monday 12 December 2011 17:58

she's waiting on you to go to sleep.

MsMeiriona 2

Monday 12 December 2011 18:19

What was that video called? The incredibly slow murder with an inefficient weapon? Something like that....

redredblood1 7

Monday 12 December 2011 20:10

Brings spooning to a whole new level

craZ3 0

Monday 12 December 2011 20:31

she's gonna use the spoon to have fun instead of u

bubo_fml 10

Monday 12 December 2011 20:34

Is this the same wife who said she was abducted by aliens a few posts back? If so, don't be surprised if you wake up the next AM w/ her claiming that they came back & you have a large metal spoon protruding from your rectum...Sweet dreams, buttercup!