Intimacy: Today, my wife is still not pregnant, but her sister is after...

By Anonymous - 26/10/2018 05:00

Today, my wife is still not pregnant, but her sister is after the threesome we all had a few months ago. The threesome was my wife's idea, but I suspect I am still a dead man when it comes to whose fault it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 5 221

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Make your mind up

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 01:58

Today, I had threesome with my wife and her best friend. Now my wife is mad at me for sleeping with her best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 1 236

Better late than never

By onehundredpercenteffed - 14/08/2009 01:46 - United States

Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 560

You deserved it 21 023

The heat of the moment

By ImSorry - 18/01/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I found out I’m gonna be a father. One day, I accidentally walked in on my sister-in-law changing. For some reason I’ll never understand, we ended up having a quickie doggystyle and swore to not talk about it ever again. She’s now 6 weeks pregnant. I’m a dead man if my wife finds out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 1 368

By brando2k5 - 06/12/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 911

You deserved it 5 788

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 21:06 - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 862

You deserved it 4 879

Yeeted it

By Anonymous - 21/09/2022 02:30 - Canada - Brampton

Today, two weeks after my wife of 3 years caught me screwing her sister in our bed, and she disappeared to her mom’s and refused to take my calls, she came home to get her stuff. Apparently on the night I cheated, she was about to tell me she was 6 weeks pregnant with my baby. She left for the two weeks to get an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 4 448

This Charming Man

By Anonymous - 06/02/2022 00:01

Today, my wife and I have been trying for kids for years and nothing, yet my deadbeat brother just ran out on his third pregnant girlfriend in a row, with no intention of meeting the baby ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 147

By JustMarried - 07/05/2016 21:47 - Ukraine

Today, my wife wanted to have a threesome. During our honeymoon. With the maid of honor. I didn't sign up for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 220

You deserved it 4 283

By both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 503

You deserved it 4 657

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 15/12/2022 00:00

Today, 98 year-old mom with dementia thought she was talking to one of my dead sisters and not my wife, telling her she'd better never tell me who my real father really, that I ruined her marriage. She won't have me ruining her reputation, so her getting pregnant with me from an affair was my fault apparently. None of my siblings ever told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 375

You deserved it 137

KingAdrock 16

Friday 26 October 2018 5:08

Your wife asked for a threesome; with her own SISTER... AND you didn't use protection? YDI, Cletus.

sunnyray812 42

Friday 12 October 2018 23:15

Why would you even agree for a threesome with your wife's sister? Why would she suggest it? I guess some incest gets her turned on. 😷

Comments

Zane Bremner 16

Saturday 1 December 2018 23:00

How about not cumming inside the side chick?

EmDizzle2007 28

Monday 4 March 2019 2:36

how's the weather in Alabama??

OneWhoKnows 5

Monday 5 August 2019 6:21

Your marriage is over and your sister has a family with your ex- awkward

OneWhoKnows 5

Monday 5 August 2019 6:22

If she wants to stay married, sis has to get an abortion- no way around it - otherwise she’s out and sis is in

randybryant799 20

Sunday 16 January 2022 6:07

Why would you not use protection? That's nuts!!

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The Top

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 786

You deserved it 5 805

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 273

You deserved it 4 584

The Top

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 778

You deserved it 53 660

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 880

You deserved it 57 444

Today, I was loudly bitched out by someone for speaking in a fake British accent, to make myself "sound sophisticated". I moved here two years ago from London. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 759

You deserved it 2 213

Today, I realized that I’m undateable because of my weight. I’m 33. My entire life, I’ve always been dated in secret, guys went out with me to make fun of me behind my back, always got cheated on, always get friendzoned, etc. It’s not fair that I have to change my body type to get my chance at happily ever after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 851

Today, I found my daughter sobbing and trying to stick a wad of gauze to her vagina. She was having her first period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 345

You deserved it 11 365

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 753

You deserved it 4 239