Intimacy: Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with...

By fatnick - 07/10/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 082

You deserved it 3 311

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Same thing different taste

By mattttbob - 04/02/2012 10:16 - Australia

Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 521

You deserved it 36 033

By Who1s269 - 03/05/2013 12:13 - United States

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 257

You deserved it 8 414

By seeminglyunsexy - 14/08/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 845

You deserved it 8 005

Health kick

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 00:01

Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 191

By tripb101 - 22/04/2009 18:47 - United States

Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 053

You deserved it 6 095

By Anonymous - 23/01/2011 00:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 549

You deserved it 14 770

By HotACE - 22/04/2011 05:08

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 975

You deserved it 22 740

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 12:46 - Switzerland - Chur

Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 371

You deserved it 2 125

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 05:18 - United States - Seattle

Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 799

You deserved it 3 951

Power moves

By Travis - 10/09/2021 22:59

Today, my wife told me that I take her breath away. However, she was talking about my large stomach hitting her while we have sex and knocking the wind out of her with every thrust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 1 214

dacho 7

Wednesday 7 October 2009 23:11

Hey, at least you're getting some.

White667 0

Wednesday 7 October 2009 23:19

Score? Least this way she's not gunna just lay there, so'll actually get into it some more. Everybody wins.

Comments

rachealrobyn 0

Monday 9 April 2012 2:11

thats harsh but hey atleast u getting sum ! go burn those calories !

gmmanofgod07 2

Saturday 9 June 2012 6:12

It's a win win situation.

Alexis2742 31

Tuesday 24 September 2013 2:36

Doesn't matter, had sex

Nederlander95 14

Monday 28 October 2013 19:19

Doesn't matter, had sex

abc_1_2_3 12

Friday 11 July 2014 23:06

doesn´t matter, had sex xD

slimblack 26

Friday 25 July 2014 5:19

Doesn't matter, had sex

HEnRyEdwardsIII 15

Saturday 6 May 2017 3:58

guess you don't have to do much of the work next time...

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The Top

Today, I learned my most recent ex-girlfriend is dating my previous ex-girlfriend who also broke my heart back then. I also learned that they both sometimes have threesomes with a man. I wanted to experiment by adding another woman when I was with each of them, but they always said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 495

Today, my girlfriend sent me a video of herself masturbating so I could watch it on my business trip. As I was watching it, I realised someone was filming her, because the camera was moving and definitely not on a tripod. I know I never recorded a video of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 369

You deserved it 494

The Top

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me with an Eagles cheerleader. I found out when his dad proudly posted about it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 350

You deserved it 334

Today, my son has always been antisocial but ever since he bought his first house he has seemingly disappeared behind it’s walls, never lets anybody visit, and has broken off contact with everybody he knows. Were it not for his coworkers telling me he’s at work everyday, I’d think he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 428

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 90

Today, while I was telling my therapist all of my inner conflicts, he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 116

Today, I discovered my new phone's voice command doesn't really understand my accent while I'm driving. It kept thinking I was saying, "Call my mum" instead of, "Open Maps". It called my mum 14 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 178

Today, I asked my friend to stop texting me, because I'm on a limited plan and didn't want to go over my limit. She responded by getting a group of her friends to text bomb me. I got well over a hundred one-word texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 236

You deserved it 8 380

Same thing different taste

Health kick

Power moves

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