Intimacy: Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked...

By Anonymous - 30/11/2014 13:07 - United States - Watchung

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 654

You deserved it 22 508

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Same thing different taste

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 656

You deserved it 61 885

John Coltrane

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 115

You deserved it 22 206

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 625

You deserved it 1 194

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 058

You deserved it 59 103

Over and out

By hatinthelife - 18/02/2012 06:34 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 622

You deserved it 4 454

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 168

You deserved it 5 574

By Ohai - 16/01/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 582

You deserved it 3 077

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 132

You deserved it 23 531

By suffersecks - 20/01/2012 23:54 - United States

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 661

You deserved it 6 203

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 854

You deserved it 18 702

Shemp_5 14

Sunday 30 November 2014 23:56

Dont ask, dont tell...

ScottVining 21

Sunday 30 November 2014 23:57

You sorta had that comin haha

Comments

goddessafrodite 6

Monday 22 December 2014 11:17

Why is this an FML. You knew she was a grown woman with a past before you met her right? I think you did. Get over it!

AcieMcG 21

Wednesday 24 December 2014 16:12

This is why I don't say anything when my boyfriend says this XD

atheon 2

Friday 26 December 2014 8:55

You are lucky number 7 man!!!

sunnydays13 0

Monday 29 December 2014 21:21

I honestly don't know what guys expect to hear when they ask this question lol, every time a guy asks me this, I have no idea what im supposed to say

sarah2453 17

Wednesday 11 March 2015 23:44

Practicing** just saying

fantasyworld 37

Monday 30 November 2015 19:03

Did you expect her to be a virgin before you met her?

iamtinkerbell 3

Saturday 2 January 2016 8:58

I don't know what you expected her to say??? No girl is naturally good. Practice makes perfect.

IntroPlex 3

Tuesday 23 August 2016 6:56

Practicing*

chrddajr 19

Saturday 19 August 2017 3:21

Only six your lucky?

kevinsagirl2323 8

Thursday 9 November 2017 23:05

so you would have preferred she lie to You? did you think she'd never done it before you?

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The Top

Today, my father came to my sister's place and yelled at her, "I knew it, you're such a whore!" because she slept with her new boyfriend. He's her first boyfriend in five years, since my father scared her previous boyfriend because of my father's possessive behavior. My sister is 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 971

You deserved it 120

Today, working at McDonald’s, I get lunch money on top of my salary. Well, actually I don’t *get* the money, I can eat the money. No freestyling though, only items that are actually on the menu. I guess my health and my figure won’t be lovin' it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 299

The Top

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 537

You deserved it 39 032

Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 751

You deserved it 4 678

Today, I’ve been sick for 3 weeks and by now I can hardly even distinguish whether I feel weak and shitty due to A) still being sick, B) lack of exercise (caused by A), or C) severe depression (caused by B). FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 87

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend always says she's been at "Alex's house", she hasn't meant the house of her friend Alexis, but rather the house of the man she has been cheating on me with. She literally told me she was cheating on me and still managed to avoid getting caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 242

You deserved it 1 504

Today, I worked a short shift at work, getting sent home early because it was slow. In the time I was gone, my family decided surprise me by rearranging my room and put in my new desk. They also surprised me when I learned that they'd spilled a slushie on my very expensive computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 561

You deserved it 1 357

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 453

You deserved it 5 853

Same thing different taste

John Coltrane

Timing

Over and out

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