Work: Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got... - FML

By keiran123 - 27/06/2013 23:15 - United States - Welsh

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 293

You deserved it 3 333

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Same thing different taste

By not twilight - 05/12/2015 00:47 - United States - Charlotte

Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 479

You deserved it 1 647

By Anonymous - 13/06/2015 15:47 - United States - Cabot

Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 266

You deserved it 2 892

By scarred for life - 21/09/2012 10:57 - Canada - Brampton

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 201

You deserved it 3 711

Gottem

By Anonymous - 04/05/2014 21:07 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 770

You deserved it 6 727

Rightly so

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 00:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 2 683

By TheStudentNurse - 18/11/2016 00:07

Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 838

You deserved it 610

First day

By notsogoodtrainee - 09/07/2015 17:02 - United States - Fargo

Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 642

You deserved it 4 819

By are these people even HUMAN? - 01/08/2013 15:18 - United States - Bristol

Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 065

You deserved it 3 799

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 543

You deserved it 7 401

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 727

You deserved it 4 350

Next

Top comments

theaaxis 27

Friday 28 June 2013 8:50

That really 'sucks'!

mintymandy 11

Friday 28 June 2013 8:53

Bite the little ****** back...

Comments

wonders8 3

Saturday 29 June 2013 0:27

Who knows, maybe it was a real one!

pinguino3669_fml 23

Saturday 29 June 2013 2:35

You never know what to expect from people these days...

nelyannette 4

Saturday 29 June 2013 3:40

That's funny

VeganVampyre 26

Saturday 29 June 2013 4:13

But... How do you know he wasn't /actually/ Dracula? Maybe he's returned and you were his first attempt to turn someone. If you start getting cravings for blue steak... That's your first sign.

dravvy 7

Saturday 29 June 2013 7:59

Until he starts calling you Renfield, take it as a compliment you were attractive enough to bite.

amifaiyaz 12

Monday 1 July 2013 7:02

Well... it's not a hot naked girl, but it's something.

hsRoseTyler5 14

Tuesday 2 July 2013 0:40

Well that guy watches too much Supernatural.. Are you sure he was a human and not a shapeshifter dressed as Dracula?

xxEternalRain 13

Tuesday 2 July 2013 4:40

My boyfriend delivers too and on his 2nd week he delivered to a guy dressed like santa

xsilentxninjax 10

Friday 12 July 2013 4:40

Can you report him for harassment?

justindrew14 29

Friday 19 July 2013 5:16

did he sparkel? if not hes not real

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 771

You deserved it 103 435

Today, I finished a fence around my house that I have been working on all week. About an hour after I finished, a water company truck pulled into my driveway. They told me they would have to take down my fence to make repairs on a water pipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 346

You deserved it 3 209

The Top

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 269

You deserved it 5 401

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 906

You deserved it 8 248

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 758

You deserved it 3 885

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 641

You deserved it 2 991

Today, I arrived at the house we rented for my sister's engagement party. I was also told that I have to sleep in the most cramped bedroom with my uncle, who sounds like a mortally wounded warthog when he snores. I paid for the rental. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 038

You deserved it 307

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 452

You deserved it 2 365