Kids: Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can...

By TwinDad - 14/05/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 070

You deserved it 6 512

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Same thing different taste

By skaterboy - 13/08/2013 15:36 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 617

You deserved it 5 035

Is this a joke?

By Anonymous - 19/08/2020 23:02

Today, I told my wife if she wanted to get a divorce, she just had to get a cat since I'm deathly allergic. She got two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 476

By My_Cow_kiM - 28/04/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 457

You deserved it 5 608

By BambooLove - 15/07/2010 06:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 080

You deserved it 65 917

By NoNotCats =^._.^= - 03/09/2013 08:17 - United States - Mesa

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 547

You deserved it 7 150

By Cat lover - 23/12/2017 01:30

Today, after 25 years living with my dad, who is highly allergic to cats, I was finally able to adopt two kittens to live in my new place, just like I have always wanted. Guess who else is highly allergic to cats? Me, it seems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 504

You deserved it 997

Don't make me choose

By Ames - 23/05/2009 16:07 - United States

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 a.m. my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because, "the cat is sad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 675

You deserved it 9 053

By notsoonenufdeparted - 02/10/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 277

You deserved it 4 814

Cats rule, boys drool

By achoooo - 07/11/2009 05:34 - United States

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 444

You deserved it 3 015

By fmlsrsly - 25/03/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 446

You deserved it 30 280

Curtieeeez 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 20:23

You gotta love kids ;D

purple5 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 20:23

Hehe, cute! She's only three, so I wouldn't take her too seriously :3

Comments

youaresofucked 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 22:25

BEWARE. YOUR KIDS ARE PLOTTING YOUR DEMISE!

dontturnaway4 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 22:32

haha thats funny though.

Raiden91 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 22:40

Lmao that is hilarious. #25 oh my god i couldn't stop laughing.

Jakester 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 22:43

Oh those darn kids. :) That is really funny! I love kid humor it makes me smile knowing that I was like that back in my kiddie years :)

shameonmedude 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 22:46

THEY ARE THREE!!!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU TAKE ANYTHING A THREE YEAR OLD SAYS SERIOUSLY AND HAVE YOUR LIFE BE ****** BECAUSE OF IT?!?!?!??!?!?!? waaa waaa waaa my 3 YEAR OLD daughters want me to die so they can get a cat.....my life is sooooooooooo ******!!!! THEY ARE THREE YOU WHINY DICKLESS ASSHOLE!!! GET THE **** OVER IT! god damn!

Rawrrr14 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 22:47

So..... can they get a cat when you die??? lol I wonder what your answer was to that.... whoa #68..... its ok..... breathe.....

shameonmedude 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 22:51

eat shit #69

Rawrrr14 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 22:54

wow. good one #70

darkmis1 17

Thursday 14 May 2009 22:55

Haha! U gotta luv lil kids. But don't worry-she's only 3 she dznt mean it :-)

FoundManyLemons 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 22:56

#68: Maybe he doesn't want his kids to try to kill him in his sleep because, as #66 says, they don't understand the concept of death? OP: Time to get those children an existential understanding of your unique personhood and their own mortality. Nothing like absolute terror to stop shit like that and start them on the path to developing a moral sense. :-)