Work: Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing...

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By Anonymous - 03/05/2015 05:58 - Finland

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 479

You deserved it 5 065

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Same thing different taste

By koletatlow19 - 05/03/2010 05:23 - Canada

Today, my boss fired me because I "didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 081

You deserved it 3 846

Wake me up before you go go

By asdfghjkl - 29/01/2022 01:59

Today, my boss made me come in at 10 a.m. instead of noon like he usually does. I’ve had nine cups of coffee and STILL can’t keep my eyes open. Why am I like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 374

Whoops

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 12:07 - Sweden

Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 882

You deserved it 32 671

420 blaze it!

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 04:01

Today, according to my boss, he could cancel out the chill effect of pot brownies by mixing Red Bull into coffee. Somehow, I think his wastedness was still noticeable, since he fell asleep at an important meeting and our main investor pulled out, putting most of our jobs at risk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 92

Nepotism rules

By SHIIIIITTTT - 10/08/2012 23:16 - United States - Houston

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 205

You deserved it 1 794

By melons - 03/07/2013 09:09 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 125

You deserved it 5 307

Monday motivation

By UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh - 09/02/2013 17:21 - Kenya

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 891

You deserved it 2 338

By Christinemh329 - 17/02/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 776

You deserved it 2 516

By Anonymous - 13/07/2013 21:10 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 023

You deserved it 4 424

Just Say Yes

By bringthemback - 29/03/2014 10:34 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 122

You deserved it 4 258

Welshite 39

Monday 4 May 2015 0:19

Chocolate covered coffee beans are your friend. Tell your boss they are chocolate covered raisins, and you'll be left alone. No one sane likes raisins.

emmatheamazingx 17

Monday 4 May 2015 0:17

I see why he compared them now

Comments

russfml 31

Monday 4 May 2015 0:53

I'm pretty sure a boss isn't allowed to just banned a known source of energy used in all work places. FYL OP I wouldn't last long there

Sandman2015 12

Monday 4 May 2015 17:29

If they did lord knows they wouldn't live long enough to realize their mistake. If someone tried that here they'd find them twisting in the wind the next morning.

fockeygirl 12

Monday 4 May 2015 0:55

That's why I don't drink coffee.

praesidiem 16

Monday 4 May 2015 7:18

You don't drink coffee, because OP's new boss banned it from OP's workplace? Damn, maybe I need to quit drinking coffee too.

fockeygirl 12

Monday 18 May 2015 16:31

Actually I've never had coffee. I don't want to get dependent on it like OP is.

sailorarctic 22

Monday 4 May 2015 1:10

The first step to getting help is admitting you have a problem.

Sxylilhalfpint 20

Monday 4 May 2015 1:31

Hi! my name is Patsy and I am a coffeeholic. I've been sober for 2 hours.

JayGatsby 25

Monday 4 May 2015 5:57

Hiiii Patsy, we're here for you.

burnieblue 2

Monday 4 May 2015 1:17

Ouch!

Cathrin 26

Monday 4 May 2015 1:22

If that isn't illegal, it should be. FYL

Witchylady 17

Monday 4 May 2015 1:33

Coffee drinkers just like smokers in a workplace spend a good portion of their day on a break while the non- coffee drinkers and smokers continue working. I want coffee to be banned at work just for the hell of it.

grghillis96 15

Monday 4 May 2015 1:55

Some men just want to watch the world burn

Cerebral_Origami 5

Monday 4 May 2015 1:56

tehdarkness 21

Monday 4 May 2015 1:57

You need to drink your coffee before work now. Set your alarm earlier son.

Dave_Davington 33

Monday 4 May 2015 2:25

Cut the string off of a teabag, stick it to the inside of a thermos, with the tab hanging out, fill said thermos with coffee and tell your boss that it's tea. Problem solved.