To my family (and others I have seen) if someone offers money willingly, and you deny the offer (even if it's polite) the person is offended

Having been wedding planning myself recently, a lot of the people saying "Just don't have it, then," don't realize that a lot of these places have you sign contracts and will keep the thousands of dollars you already paid- and sometimes make you keep paying a lot of the balance- even if you cancel. It's quite possible that regardless of whether or not you have the party you'll still have to pay beyond the initial deposit. I agree that there can be a lot of unnecessary expense with weddings, but often the families put pressure on the couples to have a more traditional wedding, and it's hard to argue the cost when they then offer to pay. I'm personally having a bigger wedding than I would have planned for myself, and while I have put down most of the money out of my pocket thus far, I am going to need the help promised by parents on both sides in order to pay off the balance of the hall right before the wedding. I managed to skip or get bargain versions of a lot of the expenses of the wedding, but the hall is still going to be fairly expensive. Regardless of whether or not YOU would have spent the money on the wedding, the OP was told that he would have it to spend and obligated himself to contracts as a result. If it were just a matter of cancelling and doing something smaller that would be one thing, but it's quite likely he'll be in debt to the wedding vendors regardless of whether or not he has it now. I personally never asked for any help paying for my wedding, but when my parents and in-laws saw the types of things I was looking at, the offered to contribute to it because they wanted to see us have a "proper wedding." If they were to pull out now, I would still have to pay several thousand dollars that I don't have to satisfy the cost of cancelling the contract.

Tell her she's not invited

so how it been?

Your mom sucks.

She planned it, I would have had them bill her. They'd just repo their stuff and take their house of they didn't pay.

That's HORRIBLE! I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

Why aren't you planning and paying for your own wedding? That way you have the say so, etc... Since she isn't paying for it anymore, sounds like you need to revisit your expectations as well as what truly matters in your relationship with your spouse to be.

Who signed the contract regarding any of the planning? If MOM did, then its on her legally and financially. If YOU did and she said she'd give you the money, then you are SOL.