Miscellaneous: Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom.... - FML

By kelsjenks - 27/07/2011 13:50 - Canada

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 699

You deserved it 3 077

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Same thing different taste

Prehistoric

By and she blames me -_- - 13/10/2013 21:50 - Canada - Calgary

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 302

You deserved it 4 362

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 120

You deserved it 3 142

By why me - 24/10/2017 01:30

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 315

You deserved it 287

By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 16:29 - Sri Lanka

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 640

You deserved it 2 803

By Anonymous - 29/08/2013 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 817

You deserved it 2 730

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 947

You deserved it 2 008

By Matthew - 27/11/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 891

You deserved it 4 583

By Amanda - 19/11/2010 05:14

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 337

You deserved it 3 841

Put it all back

By WTFwhywouldyoudothat - 22/08/2011 22:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully, they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 087

You deserved it 4 377

By Danielle - 06/06/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 802

You deserved it 4 071

Next

Top comments

saIty 17

Wednesday 27 July 2011 19:13

Little did you know it was a magical flying broom.

metallicshadow 16

Wednesday 27 July 2011 19:11

haha ballbag

Comments

brooklynnlee 1

Thursday 28 July 2011 18:43

lmao

saminah 0

Thursday 28 July 2011 18:44

sorry I needed a broom to clean out my girlfriend.

bigjenpen 3

Thursday 28 July 2011 18:51

Did they at least sweep your floor before taking it?

TheLastZombie 3

Thursday 28 July 2011 19:13

Wow, be thankful they didn't take anything else.

jmonk 0

Thursday 28 July 2011 20:55

BALLBAG my new word lol

badactor009 0

Friday 29 July 2011 2:00

My wife just informed me that you will turn into a full fledged jack boot wearing Nazi within 72 hours. Go hang yourself while you still can.

salsalover_12 5

Friday 29 July 2011 2:10

Lol well would you rather he took all your valuables?

ukrage 1

Friday 29 July 2011 2:55

goddamn muggle stole me nimbus 2000

Timmeeh 17

Friday 29 July 2011 3:02

Wait, this is actually centred on the fact he didn't rob you more? Surely a better perspective is "Today, someone broke into my house, but only made off with a broom. MLIA."

burnout0511 0

Friday 29 July 2011 5:43

WTF at least it was nothing special right

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The Top

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 17 041

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 572

You deserved it 6 604

The Top

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 976

You deserved it 4 147

Today, I found out my husband was cheating on me while I was waiting in an ICU waiting room while he was getting brain surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 95

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my overly-religious parents that I'm an agnostic. They asked me why. As soon as I gave my reasons, my mom called me a "bigot" and hurled a bible at me, and it nailed me in the crotch. She then said, "That's what you get, non-believer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 181

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 473

You deserved it 2 841

Today, as I was approaching climax with the girl of my dreams, my mom walked in to ask if I had her car keys, took one look and told me I need to get out, find a real woman and stop watching porn with my headphones on, so I can hear when people are climbing the stairs to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 2 008

Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 781

You deserved it 32 832