Intimacy: Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to... - FML

By shygurl434 - 15/03/2010 09:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 297

You deserved it 3 664

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Stinker

By taman - 12/09/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 947

You deserved it 5 363

Good job

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 086

You deserved it 3 619

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 843

You deserved it 5 283

By ordinaryday - 22/05/2012 12:21 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 252

You deserved it 3 339

By luckygirl - 14/12/2009 09:05 - United States

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 985

You deserved it 4 525

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 640

You deserved it 3 557

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 330

You deserved it 4 607

Needed to know

By ohwell - 09/06/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for two years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time, and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response? "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 424

You deserved it 17 614

Romantic

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 05:29 - Canada

Spicy

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 910

You deserved it 6 864

By Dana - 10/05/2011 08:36 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 136

You deserved it 12 133

Next

Top comments

Apolloyn 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:01

thats a good thing

WtFiMdAdDy 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:03

nice pooper? really. how old is he? hahaha....

Comments

iamchuck 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:14

I bet it is nice, but FYL 'cus he wants to put it there.

Tripout 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:16

IN THE BUTT!!!! lol XD reminds me of a YouTube vid. X'D

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 15 March 2010 19:52

Reminds me of Butters Stotch.

cracktus 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:22

Sometimes you just gotta take it up the ass.

ahhhmber 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:23

true true.

fuckyourlife99 0

Monday 15 March 2010 19:51

ahahah thts funny cuz you were so against it amber but as soon as someone sais "sometime you have to take it in the ass" you agree, that was funny , if only everyone was this gullible

Schazam 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:23

You have a Fabulous Feces Factory! Your mother and proctologist must be very proud.

WtFiMdAdDy 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:27

Nice alliteration there bruhh lol anti-flood is a (female dog)

yerliefsuks 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:30

how's your pooper? oh man, where I work we always say that good times

CallMeHush 0

Monday 15 March 2010 17:13

Good Times indeed.

xxcashmoney100 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:35

dha ****!! hahahaha

KurouTenshi 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:35

imagine the other equivalents: nice ass = nice pooper nice **** = nice milkers nice elbows = nice weenis nice hands = nice sammich makers

sum1savemeh 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:53

lol^

KaileeCat 0

Monday 15 March 2010 19:09

haha+win.+

ZXDriver 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 13:12

Win.

wimman 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:39

Boy likes you. Males get filters later in life. It's a start anyhow. Next time you see him, say, "Nice package."

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 15 March 2010 19:54

I don't think "package" is on his level. Compliment his wee wee.

shy_shy 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:56

WTF?

johnnyexpl0sion 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:58

what a charmer. i hope he has a blog or website cuz i DEFINITELY want some tips from him on how to compliment women.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Kids Parenting DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 096

You deserved it 1 169

The Top

Today, my dad is obsessed with making sure that I am not in any way 'bare' in front of the windows of our house. Which is surrounded by tall trees, five metres worth of tall trees. I'm not sure whether to be creeped out that someone might see me or that my dad is unhealthily obsessed about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 486

You deserved it 1 171

Today, I dropped my phone. I'd only just bought this new phone last night. It barely survived 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 468

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 411

You deserved it 43 025

Today, I took a long distance train across country. Early on I had an urgent need to use the bathroom. As I went to flush away the nasty, the preflush water violently projected my diarrhoea onto my pants before clearing the rest down the gurgler. I have 8 hours left on the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 651

You deserved it 357

Today, I reduced a customer to tears and she had a tantrum, saying that nobody loves her, her life is a joke, and she’d be better off dead. This ordeal happened to grab the attention of my manager who was nearby. All I did was tell her that an item she wanted was sold out and offered to help her order it online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 103

Today, I went back home for a visit after nearly 10 years. I met up with some old friends at a bar and had an amazing evening. Afterwards, two of the wives told me I’m never allowed to speak to, nor see their husbands again, since I slept with them in high school. This was years before they even met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 220