Intimacy: Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to... - FML

By shygurl434 - 15/03/2010 09:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 296

You deserved it 3 664

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Same thing different taste

Stinker

By taman - 12/09/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 947

You deserved it 5 363

Good job

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 086

You deserved it 3 619

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 843

You deserved it 5 283

By ordinaryday - 22/05/2012 12:21 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 252

You deserved it 3 339

By luckygirl - 14/12/2009 09:05 - United States

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 985

You deserved it 4 525

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 640

You deserved it 3 557

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 330

You deserved it 4 607

Needed to know

By ohwell - 09/06/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for two years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time, and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response? "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 424

You deserved it 17 614

Romantic

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 05:29 - Canada

Spicy

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 910

You deserved it 6 864

By Dana - 10/05/2011 08:36 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 135

You deserved it 12 133

Next

Top comments

Apolloyn 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:01

thats a good thing

WtFiMdAdDy 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:03

nice pooper? really. how old is he? hahaha....

Comments

Sexysexton 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 6:24

Well personaly I have a nice ass so when I get complements like that I love it!

gozar_fml 1

Tuesday 16 March 2010 7:21

He probably walked away saying, "I finally got the nerve to talk to that cute girl and all I could come up with was "nice pooper! FML!"

kaynorr 9

Tuesday 16 March 2010 8:10

who called u a fag

heyred 11

Tuesday 16 March 2010 8:15

Did you say thank you?

cmac86 23

Tuesday 16 March 2010 9:12

it's like that valentines day bear that says "shit bitch you is fine". gotta love how Ebonics is taking over the modern world. we would all do well to take some English classes.

Dismissal 4

Tuesday 16 March 2010 9:22

Wow, just... pooper? You should have said "Nice peeper." Then you could sign eachothers yearbooks as "Pooper" and "Peeper" oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd. Not an FML.

sabatical 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 14:53

haha nice

beanoz 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 1:20

pooper = ass. he meant you have a nice ass so you should be happy

sexyblonde78 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 3:46

OMG 57 you are so annoying! they said something trying to be funny and I'm 100 percent positive no one asked for a dictionary definition!

da94 1

Wednesday 17 March 2010 6:31

just say he is retarded for saying that

charlie8u3478 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 4:03

real playa. is he five or retarted?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 94

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 650

You deserved it 8 222

The Top

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 009

You deserved it 7 579

Today, I was trying to set up a date with my boyfriend of two years, but he said he didn’t want to, and then to interrupted me to talk to his friends on Discord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 164

Today, I learned that ever since I got a tattoo, my mother had edited her will, said I was no longer her daughter, and took me out of it. While my sister got a payout, I basically missed out all because of a small tattoo of a flower on my ankle. I’m a single struggling starving mom. She knew this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 485

Today, I was riding on my bike when a guy on the street shouted, "I LOVE YOU!" at me. I recently told my boyfriend I loved him, and his response was, "I don't love you but I won't treat you any differently." Perverts on the street love me, but my boyfriend doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 629

You deserved it 5 584

Today, I found out that the only reason why I haven't had a relationship last for more than a week the past 4 years is because of my stalker ex-girlfriend, who has been keeping other women out of my life by making up horrible stories about me. She broke up with me 5 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 388

You deserved it 2 298

Today, I got my cats a new scratching post. They completely ignored it and tore apart the new felt on my pool table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 172

You deserved it 5 093