Intimacy: Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration...

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 920

You deserved it 48 793

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Same thing different taste

By clash - 28/11/2008 06:30 - France

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 935

You deserved it 7 614

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 18:47 - Canada

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 155

You deserved it 5 507

Time to pretend

By fmeplease - 31/05/2009 21:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 269

You deserved it 12 749

By fuckit - 31/01/2009 17:24 - United States

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 238

You deserved it 5 610

I remember…

By vcarder - 26/09/2009 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 698

You deserved it 6 388

By knicksfan - 05/04/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 002

You deserved it 6 602

By hopeless - 08/07/2009 01:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 383

You deserved it 4 287

By Anonymous - 13/10/2011 16:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 980

You deserved it 6 333

Erection for Protection

By zingle af - 26/07/2017 20:00

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 560

You deserved it 634

Cockblocked

By AudreyUs - 10/12/2008 19:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 719

You deserved it 18 487

liindsey 25

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:07

I agree with the pig comment, but it's also kind of pig-ish to keep someone around till you can find someone better..

ifailplzinsultme 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:09

Sounds like karma is the only thing that's been screwing you lately.

Comments

cjgqsmooth 0

Monday 5 September 2011 11:47

YDI for not being man enough to get any

Splonkeydonkey 1

Monday 5 September 2011 14:12

That's such a dumb reason to break up. In my opinion

gleeklove 2

Monday 5 September 2011 15:47

Ugh, you disgust me. Lol... But seriously you deserved it I mean this paragraph makes you sound like such a pig! Grrr >:(

Mini_Pedobear 0

Monday 5 September 2011 15:58

give her the condoms..

JGNEVAREZ01_fml 5

Monday 5 September 2011 16:39

Wow. That's all I have to say. Maybe you shouldn't of dumped her.CARMA!

sailorfreak_fml 4

Monday 5 September 2011 17:23

you're such a sick perv go find a prostitute to pleasure your needs OP -.-

Mannie_G 0

Monday 5 September 2011 19:02

Who buys condoms to celebrate anyways?

TeeAmoo 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:23

One Word ; PIG !? Damn -.- , YDI Like Shiet . Asshole !

Shannon4_xo 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 1:01

Are all relationships just about sex these days? -.- You really are a wee bit pathetic.

skatergirl33 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:47

yuup! soo annoying :3 mayb things will change....ya right!!

skatergirl33 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:43

wayy ta b man! get out there and start having sex! haha thats ok... someday ull get laid!

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The Top

Today my boyfriend of one year dumped me. When I started crying, he said, “Want to know something that will make you hate me so you won’t be so sad?” and then told me he’s been cheating on me with multiple women, the entire time we’ve been dating. He thought that would comfort me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 605

You deserved it 207

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 314

You deserved it 40 787

The Top

Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 050

You deserved it 3 234

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 284

You deserved it 44 352

Today, I was walking down the hallway when I stepped in an ice cold pile of cat vomit. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 155

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for not showing up to her mother's birthday party. I didn't go because I had to finish a project for work over the weekend. This is the same person who refused to go to my father's funeral because she, "didn't feel like getting dressed up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 767

You deserved it 873

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 148

You deserved it 5 318

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 978

You deserved it 3 554