Intimacy: Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration... - FML

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Spicy

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 921

You deserved it 48 795

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Same thing different taste

By clash - 28/11/2008 06:30 - France

Spicy

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 935

You deserved it 7 614

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 18:47 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 155

You deserved it 5 507

Time to pretend

By fmeplease - 31/05/2009 21:10 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 270

You deserved it 12 749

By fuckit - 31/01/2009 17:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 239

You deserved it 5 610

I remember…

By vcarder - 26/09/2009 08:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 699

You deserved it 6 388

By knicksfan - 05/04/2009 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 003

You deserved it 6 602

By hopeless - 08/07/2009 01:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 383

You deserved it 4 287

By Anonymous - 13/10/2011 16:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 980

You deserved it 6 333

Erection for Protection

By zingle af - 26/07/2017 20:00

Spicy

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 561

You deserved it 634

Cockblocked

By AudreyUs - 10/12/2008 19:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 719

You deserved it 18 487

Next

Top comments

liindsey 25

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:07

I agree with the pig comment, but it's also kind of pig-ish to keep someone around till you can find someone better..

ifailplzinsultme 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:09

Sounds like karma is the only thing that's been screwing you lately.

Comments

vcolvin 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 4:22

What a pig!! That's what you deserve. As opposed to getting very little now you get none lol

Lucky7Samson 10

Saturday 20 April 2013 2:14

So when a guy wants more sex, doesn't get it and leaves the relationship he's a pig. When a girl wants more sex, doesn't get it, and leaves the relationship the guys a bitch. Why is she not a frigid bitch who's not properly pleasing her man?

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 1 October 2014 11:11

As celebration? You have to be kidding...

Konarika 11

Wednesday 23 November 2016 23:35

It's so sick that you would DUMP someone over something trivial like that...

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 132

Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 160

The Top

Today, I thought I would take my family to the beach for the day. My wife is sitting on the front porch, not talking to me, because after working a 60-hour week, I would rather enjoy my family and the fruits of my labor, rather than help her clean the house that she has spent all week at, doing nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 215

Today, I had to text my landlord to tell him I’m gonna be short on rent. The guy who mugged me last night took the money I made from tips that was supposed to complete my rent. He replied, “Wow that’s wild. I don’t know how you’re gonna come up with the rest by 11:59 tonight, or you’re evicted in 30 days.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 139

Today, I told my husband that I think he has ADHD. He was offended and began to argue, then he got distracted by a dog outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 864

You deserved it 1 655

Today, I went to the bar because, I like to go to the bar every Saturday, but wearing a wedding ring so people wouldn't hit on me. But when I went this time, I forgot my ring and people still didn’t hit on me. So now I know it has nothing to do with the ring at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 1 012

Today, I found out my best friend works at my husband’s job. He calls her his “work wife.” I had no idea they worked together, nor the fact that he calls her that. I used her phone to call my husband and she has him as “Work Hubby” with a heart emoji. The worst part? They insist nothing is going on between them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 153

Today, I was diagnosed with COVID, and given a week off work to quarantine. When I sat down on the sofa, my girlfriend slapped the remote out of my hand and handed me a list of chores, "to do while you're lazing around on vacation." It's four pages long. Double sided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 302