Love: Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body....

By pugs - 29/01/2010 08:43 - France

Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 471

You deserved it 4 623

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Same thing different taste

By ak. - 02/03/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 701

You deserved it 11 368

Mr Romantic

By Mellon - 09/12/2021 01:59

Today, I was doubting my boyfriend's feelings for me, so I asked him if he found me attractive. He replied, "Well, you're thin enough…" That's all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 198

Backhanded

By johnny - 05/06/2023 22:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 892

By the-yao - 24/01/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 902

You deserved it 3 811

By Bad Dancer - 05/07/2015 01:48 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 035

You deserved it 3 532

By Sam - 03/02/2009 22:38 - United States

Today, I showed my boyfriend a picture of me in what I thought was a sexy skintight dress. He responded by saying "it's ok, I went through a pudgy stage too". The picture was from Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 646

You deserved it 4 295

By IntimidatorStag - 06/02/2009 23:54 - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 341

You deserved it 30 567

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 928

You deserved it 38 550

By Anonymous - 08/01/2010 15:09 - Canada

Today, I saw a picture of me from a night of drinking that surprisingly looked really really good. I showed my boyfriend and he agreed with me. Then he added, "What's funny is it looks nothing like you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 950

You deserved it 3 740

By Anonyme - 22/06/2016 05:15 - Switzerland - Geneve

Today, I was trying to seduce a really good-looking girl, when all of a sudden she leaned in towards me and said, “Sorry, I’m not drunk enough to make out with you.“ FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 751

You deserved it 3 417

pidri 0

Friday 29 January 2010 16:19

doesn't sound like ur dating her sounds like she's using you for ass.

MoonyIce 0

Friday 29 January 2010 16:15

... Wow. Classy.

Comments

jamieboy11 0

Friday 29 January 2010 17:40

that's funny good luck with that

amoreforte 6

Friday 29 January 2010 18:23

that's really sucks I'd tell her that I don't want her drinking from now on

jonny2x4 0

Friday 29 January 2010 18:26

YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! We have a WINNAH!!!!!!

Starfire22 5

Friday 29 January 2010 18:33

ouch, that was a burn!

Instanguy 0

Friday 29 January 2010 18:49

that means ur a drunk fling not together

LandyPants 0

Friday 29 January 2010 19:01

dude that blows hahaha

bcbg90410 0

Friday 29 January 2010 19:40

What a bitch. NEXT!!!!!!

fxdxhk90 0

Friday 29 January 2010 19:43

If she is always drunk when you're doin it, try to get another girl involved, she may not object when she's drunk.

kisseshugsdrugs 5

Friday 29 January 2010 19:57

i guess another person on FML confused their bootycall with the person theyre dating again.

lostfaithinpppl 19

Friday 29 January 2010 20:04

Exactly my thought!

eazye94 0

Friday 29 January 2010 20:31

she was probelly jk

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The Top

Today, I had a mental breakdown. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was, "I think we were better off as friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 336

You deserved it 5 516

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 372

You deserved it 1 985

The Top

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 597

You deserved it 4 398

Today, the maintenance man 'fixed' a leak in my apartment by flooding the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 143

You deserved it 2 681

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to date other people, but still wants to be with me. He said, “Yes I want to be with you, but maybe we can both find better.” I found out he’s been texting another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 103

Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 633

You deserved it 4 188

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 257

You deserved it 4 868

Today, and for the past week, I’ve been seeing a guy who checks all my boxes. He treats me amazing, and we both want the same thing, to find love. Seems great, right? Well, I got an anonymous text telling me that I may have been exposed to herpes. Hopefully he doesn’t leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 440

Same thing different taste

Mr Romantic

Backhanded

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