Work: Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my...

By Anonymous - 07/08/2015 17:31 - United States - Newark

Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 052

You deserved it 1 898

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 13:23 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 005

You deserved it 96 591

By Simms - 14/03/2012 02:32 - United States

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 532

You deserved it 6 467

Pranksters

By dan - 09/05/2012 20:10 - United States - Laurel

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the backrest came apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to, "Stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 183

You deserved it 2 180

Shut up!

By Anonymous - 03/03/2013 18:03 - Germany - Augsburg

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 980

You deserved it 11 230

By 123literateABC - 04/11/2015 03:10 - United States - Grand Haven

Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 529

You deserved it 1 547

By Faker - 16/10/2012 21:44 - United States

Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 022

You deserved it 1 669

Who sharpens screwdrivers?

By Anonymous - 26/12/2021 14:01

Today, on my building site, I asked one of the guys to pass me a screwdriver. He threw it so hard that when I caught it, it stabbed into the meat of my finger and came clean out the other side. Now all the guys keep joking I got royally screwed. The jokes are worse than the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 116

Oops.

By Anonymous - 18/11/2017 01:30

Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 872

You deserved it 1 119

By I already have one, thanks - 09/08/2014 05:59 - Australia - Mosman

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 337

You deserved it 3 085

By framed - 02/04/2016 12:30 - United States - Portsmouth

Today, I was chatting with a new guy at work. He cracked a joke about me and I jokingly gave him a light push on the shoulder. Half a second after I touched him, he threw himself back and hit the floor yelling in "pain". Now I'm suspended because of this psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 402

You deserved it 2 424

FlamingJazkinz 15

Saturday 8 August 2015 8:01

Take it off and smack them.

mattzawesome 28

Saturday 8 August 2015 8:03

That's unbelievable, using a tragedy against someone and conflating them with a crime.

Comments

ivyadam 3

Sunday 9 August 2015 4:44

I'm sorry but you are working with a bunch of adults right? I think you can report them. I would.

Avashantu 18

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:16

I'd report that. There is no decency in what they're doing at all.

ashleymp 12

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:30

i'd **** em up. come up with a comeback that makes them never step up to you again.

enginsteve 17

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:44

Being handicapped is one of the few protected types of discrimination. Sue their asses!

bigwhiskey69 6

Sunday 9 August 2015 8:05

Please don't take this the wrong way but you missed the perfect opportunity to threaten to break your metal leg off in there ass

jembum21 6

Sunday 9 August 2015 10:57

That's so horrible. Some people deserve to burn in a hole.

xluciferx666 21

Sunday 9 August 2015 16:55

Shoot him at his desk he will never expect that

nyagemini23 22

Sunday 9 August 2015 21:36

That's messed up

Saluriel 12

Sunday 9 August 2015 22:34

File a workplace complaint against the bastards and threaten to turn it into a media circus. Nobody deserves to be insulted for something they can't control.