Work: Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously... - FML

By melons - 03/07/2013 09:09 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 123

You deserved it 5 307

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Same thing different taste

For science

By Rach - 26/10/2023 04:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 714

By fired101 - 08/02/2010 06:04 - France

Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 432

You deserved it 7 420

By jess - 07/03/2010 14:08 - South Africa

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 4 689

By Anonymous - 13/07/2013 21:10 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 015

You deserved it 4 424

By Anonymous - 28/03/2012 16:25 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 099

You deserved it 30 142

The passenger

By F.L.Stubbs - 05/08/2023 00:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 140

By CoffeeStained - 10/11/2015 15:54 - United States - Richmond

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 410

You deserved it 10 135

WAKE UP IT'S MONDAY MORNING!

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was running late for work so I grabbed my coffee to go. I was rushing down the stairs when I stumbled a bit and spilled the entire cup of coffee all over myself. I had to go back up, change clothes, and was still late. The kicker? It was decaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 332

By theshad - 10/09/2010 06:28 - Reserved

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 957

You deserved it 28 727

Great start

By Anonymous - 27/03/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I was rushing to get to work on time and grabbed what I thought was my coffee mug. It wasn't until I was in the car that I realized I had grabbed my husband's urinalysis cup. Not quite the morning boost I was expecting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 257

Next

Top comments

rocker_chick105 31

Wednesday 3 July 2013 18:23

And there goes my appetite...

lysx84 24

Wednesday 3 July 2013 18:23

Why didn't you tell him it was there, like half an hour ago?

Comments

stormchaser24 24

Wednesday 3 July 2013 18:35

Well, be happy it did not land in your month, eye, or on you. Just get some more coffee, if your company provides it. And throw up the bogey latte.

Le112 12

Wednesday 3 July 2013 20:35

you have YOUR OWN MONTH?!

Andosworld 8

Wednesday 3 July 2013 18:37

Snot his fault.

williemac98 8

Wednesday 3 July 2013 18:37

Why was your coffee underneath the manager's nose?

melons 44

Wednesday 3 July 2013 19:00

He was leaning over the desk, right in the firing line of my fresh brew.

FlyingLeumer 19

Wednesday 3 July 2013 18:37

See, I'm just gonna have to be the gross guy who comments "Free flavoring! "

singer0421 32

Wednesday 3 July 2013 18:37

Why didn't anyone tell him/her??

AFur 10

Wednesday 3 July 2013 18:38

I think I just puked a little....

perdix 29

Wednesday 3 July 2013 18:39

The normal and obvious thing to do is to throw out the coffee. Now, if you want to become Employee of the Month and a company legend, you'll drink it down like a soldier!

Beva_fml 15

Wednesday 3 July 2013 18:39

Eww.. tell your manager next time!

melons 44

Wednesday 3 July 2013 19:07

I'm hoping there's never a next time.

Beva_fml 15

Thursday 4 July 2013 14:04

Yeah, on a closer thought so do I :P

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 3 July 2013 18:40

There are actually people out there who advocate eating mucus. They say it strengthens the immune system. Yes, seriously.

perdix 29

Wednesday 3 July 2013 18:55

#22, it's probably that Kelly Clarkson theory -- what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

melons 44

Wednesday 3 July 2013 19:03

Sadly, my boyfriend is one of those people. I didn't know this before we got together, otherwise this may have influenced things.

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 3 July 2013 19:11

I once had a coworker that tried to convince me to drink my own urine (like he does) because it promotes good health."Yeah, no thanks". :P Surprising it's a common practice for more people than I thought there would be.

ZeroPath5 16

Wednesday 3 July 2013 19:51

You have quite a boyfriend then

melons 44

Wednesday 3 July 2013 19:54

38, how was his breath?

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 3 July 2013 20:20

Melons (god your name cracks me up!) His breath was fine. I wouldn't have even known he did that until I had the flu and he was trying to give me medical advice to strengthen my immune system.

TwinkleToes7 15

Wednesday 3 July 2013 18:40

Ew, that makes me gag! Poor you...

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The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 157

The Top

Today, a customer made a huge scene at work because all of our reading glasses are made in China, and apparently any "moral" person should be repulsed by that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 637

You deserved it 1 240

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 141

You deserved it 4 171

Today, I found out that eating too much cheese really can cause nightmares. I had a cheese sandwich before bed and woke up later to the nightmarish sight of my mother-in-law standing over me with a suitcase. She had a big argument with her husband and wants to stay with us for a few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 792

You deserved it 268

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 165

You deserved it 25 750

Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 231

You deserved it 3 157

Today, and for the past few months, my cat has taken to yelling at me whenever I walk into the room he's in. I have no idea what he's so bent out of shape about, and I couldn't even make a reasonable guess as to why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 234