Intimacy: Today, the only thing that kept me hard during sex with my wife... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By weirdoe - 07/02/2016 09:17 - Italy - Palermo

Spicy

Today, the only thing that kept me hard during sex with my wife was thinking about my own naked body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 533

You deserved it 9 203

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Top comments

BlueBaronBitch 22

Monday 8 February 2016 0:35

"Yeah you're the man, you sexy beast"

JuzReading 23

Monday 8 February 2016 0:37

Did you moan your name out as well?

Comments

fakedsincerity 32

Monday 8 February 2016 0:40

Patrick Bateman, is that you?

Selke 16

Monday 8 February 2016 3:55

You beat me to it!

meunluckycharms 16

Monday 8 February 2016 4:06

You deserve more thumbs up for that one

Symba_fml 14

Monday 8 February 2016 0:45

Is this Kanye??

supertacowaffle 41

Monday 8 February 2016 0:53

Kanye is that you?

Tyrez 32

Monday 8 February 2016 0:55

I want to know if you are just that sexy or have an ugly wife.

oasis359 13

Monday 8 February 2016 21:09

agreed

arkh_angel 16

Monday 8 February 2016 0:59

You may want to talk to your wife about this... Maybe you'll learn that she was thinking about her own naked body too so she can stay excited while having sex with you.

crazyindynathan 13

Monday 8 February 2016 1:03

Not sure if narcissist or gay...

JackDupp 11

Monday 8 February 2016 1:10

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Crazymye 14

Monday 8 February 2016 4:26

Perhaps a gay narcissist?

aspecialspecial 21

Monday 8 February 2016 1:15

F your wife's life and yours

feven 32

Monday 8 February 2016 1:19

Well then. F her life for sure.

Rainyknights22 16

Monday 8 February 2016 1:23

That's so sad lol

pandaxpress 19

Tuesday 9 February 2016 5:39

The LOL in this comment was unnecessary.

maarrniie 15

Monday 8 February 2016 1:26

F both of your lives

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 653

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

The Top

Today, I was playing Dance Dance Revolution in an arcade when a woman came up and asked me if playing it was my job. I laughed but then realized that it is actually the closest thing I have to a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 647

You deserved it 7 664

Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 538

You deserved it 3 171

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 711

You deserved it 9 837

Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. I began to eat when I noticed a blond hair in my food. When that happened, I went up to the counter and began complaining about their hygiene. When the manager insisted no one that works there had long blond hair, I realized that it was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 573

You deserved it 64 894

Today, I finally managed to get my ghostly white legs tanned. It was during a yoga lesson, and I was wearing my knee braces. Half of my legs are now a shade darker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 951

You deserved it 708

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 308

You deserved it 10 477