Intimacy: Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid...

By Ouch - 21/01/2012 00:29 - United States

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 9 358

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

My package

By Nikki - 20/11/2019 05:00

Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 527

You deserved it 723

By Anonymous - 28/04/2015 16:58 - United Kingdom - Exminster

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 809

You deserved it 4 442

By Handblocked - 04/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor appointment in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 399

You deserved it 622

The agony and the ecstasy

By Anonymous - 01/05/2023 12:00

Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 1 014

Thanks, Dad!

By Sam - 28/11/2008 08:50 - France

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 572

You deserved it 11 314

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 10:45 - Russian Federation

Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 459

You deserved it 9 321

By JessP - 26/02/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered sex toys online and had them delivered to my dorm room. I put my parents' address for the billing information because I didn't want the bill sent to my dorm after I moved out. The toys were sent to my parents house instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 563

You deserved it 78 349

By crazygirl - 29/10/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 525

You deserved it 5 183

Broken vibrator

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 083

You deserved it 268

Kinda cute

By anon - 09/09/2013 15:15 - United States - Mantua

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. - Mom and Dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 410

You deserved it 26 009

Cat_Daniels 6

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:07

OMG I would be like "I Guess mom isn't that impressed with u..."

djskidd 9

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:04

That sucks. Enjoy the vibrator though!

Comments

nonamericandolla 6

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:52

Omg! Like he doesn't watch ****

MissCutiee 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:53

When I get a car, i will drive to a sex shop. I am so getting a vibrator.

AlaskaKid95 7

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:59

Until then..

MrSassypants 33

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:04

I use my hand to...

horneyhic 15

Saturday 21 January 2012 8:17

Ur old enough for the real thing let me show u

BostonBruinsFan 8

Saturday 21 January 2012 15:49

65, ur getting kinky!!

dansco 24

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:17

Well its addressed to you and I guess it didn't say Vibrator on it so how would he know?

BostonBruinsFan 8

Saturday 21 January 2012 15:52

He opened it, idiot!!!

ThatLooksSticky 16

Saturday 21 January 2012 18:43

Don't call him an idiot, assh*le! No where in the post does it say, "my dad opened the package addressed to me." I agree with this post. I've ordered toys in the mail before, and they all come in discreetly marked packages. I don't see a problem with someone else accepting delivery.

MrHankie1999 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:28

At least you didn't do the dumber thing and use your phone as a vibrator.

every1luvsboners 11

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:38

Whatever happened to using household items? If you get a pickle and an extension cord you'll have the time of your life. First you cut one end off of the extension cord, put the two bare wires into the pickle, plug the cord into the receptacle and go at it. You'll have a glowing, vibrating sex machine that'll last longer than Ron Jeremy. I'm not going to say who taught me that but his/her username starts with "K" and rhymes with "pal."