Intimacy: Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's...

By Anonymous - 14/07/2011 08:40 - Austria

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 028

You deserved it 2 875

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Same thing different taste

By chickety boom - 02/08/2013 12:41 - United States - Austin

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 969

You deserved it 4 303

Sex work is real work

By thatssickkk - 17/02/2010 06:40 - United States

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 569

You deserved it 2 727

By Anonymous - 15/11/2012 14:54 - United States - Erie

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 550

You deserved it 49 541

Mad beliefs

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 254

You deserved it 20 795

TMI great-grannie!

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 21:00

Today, at a big family wedding, my great nana shared quite loudly with us that most of the people in the pub wouldn’t exist if at 15 she hadn’t dumped her lying boyfriend, then made herself feel better by losing her virginity to an Italian waiter and accidentally becoming pregnant with my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 154

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 04:00 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 807

You deserved it 164

By GrandmasWhore - 04/04/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 246

You deserved it 90 484

By fuck you, gran - 09/03/2013 00:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 085

You deserved it 4 088

Relationship specialist

By Anonymous - 16/10/2023 13:00

Today, I attended a family reunion, during which my grandma gave me "relationship advice" in front of everyone. She's been married five times, and her longest marriage lasted a whole 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 14/07/2018 05:00

Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 725

You deserved it 776

saIty 17

Thursday 14 July 2011 15:51

He must have been very specific if it went on for 30 minutes.

Soloman212 28

Thursday 14 July 2011 15:48

How romantic! I'm sure the whole family enjoyed it. Did you ask for an encore?

Comments

laundryninja 1

Friday 15 July 2011 0:17

and none stopped him...

Captain0bv10us 0

Friday 15 July 2011 1:12

Ick :P Hopefully it wasn't TOO detailed

JeansKismet 9

Friday 15 July 2011 1:36

I bet grandpa's poem gave you some pretty sweet ideas to try out tonight huh?

roughdraft986 0

Friday 15 July 2011 2:06

Today, I got an erection while reading an FML about someone's grandparent's first sexual encounter together. FML

perdix 29

Friday 15 July 2011 2:25

Her honor she offered. Her offer I honored. So, all night long. It was honor and offer. I'll bet the poem had at least 25 minutes of: "And in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out."

ogthug24 4

Friday 15 July 2011 12:27

this is fuckken funny

mima77 0

Friday 15 July 2011 3:22

How awkward.. But cute!

RuCheezBurger 10

Friday 15 July 2011 3:33

When I first met your Grandmother, she didnt know me. So I would always drop the pencil and look under her skirt to get to know her bett— OH CRAP, was that a secret?