Animals: Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a...

By lacsmac2 - 01/11/2015 14:10 - Australia

Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 614

You deserved it 2 684

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Same thing different taste

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 264

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 323

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 464

He was just chillin'

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 13:59

Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 1 011

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 3 180

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 32 194

By Anonytard - 02/03/2014 22:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 709

You deserved it 15 130

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 742

You deserved it 30 887

By NaniNarcotic - 16/08/2011 10:17 - Australia

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 881

You deserved it 73 493

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 662

You deserved it 8 343

lexiieeex3 32

Monday 2 November 2015 0:20

Did your brother flick the switch off on purpose? That would be a major dick move. You don't **** with people when spiders are involved.

katelng09 16

Monday 2 November 2015 0:17

Spiders are dicks

Comments

Tomedn 16

Monday 2 November 2015 0:26

At least you knew where it was in the dark

bella_nana347 23

Monday 2 November 2015 0:34

The most important thing here is: is the spider dead?

shady_fox77 13

Monday 2 November 2015 0:38

Let's try to think positively. Maybe the little demon just wanted to give your face a hug?

Lalala579121 27

Monday 2 November 2015 1:35

Yeah, it's probably just a Headcrab.

Squallleon 12

Monday 2 November 2015 0:43

Given that you're in Australia, I'm surprised you survived that spider op.

ThreeSheets 14

Monday 2 November 2015 1:08

I agree.

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 2 November 2015 4:26

Believe it or not, we do have mostly harmless ones too!

Auromo 14

Monday 2 November 2015 0:47

My advice, hope for super powers.

General_Cool 24

Monday 2 November 2015 0:54

Amateur. Should have had akimbo flamethrowers

ragnarok1540 39

Monday 2 November 2015 1:13

I guess you have no choice left but to light yourself on fire. May as well burn down the entire house just to be safe. If you survive, you can sleep safe knowing the spider did not.