Miscellaneous: Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to...

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 00:29 - United States - Wooster

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 869

You deserved it 1 944

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Same thing different taste

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 3 414

By Anonymous - 08/02/2012 18:15

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 142

You deserved it 2 644

Cleanliness is next to someone else

By Anonymous - 10/03/2020 15:00

Today, we got new seats in my English class; I was seated next to a boy that I don't know very well. When I sat down, he informed me that he is "opposed" to brushing his teeth. I thought he was kidding. Then he started breathing with his mouth open. These are our seats for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 16/09/2018 13:00

Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 784

You deserved it 278

By Justme - 30/06/2016 18:20 - United States - Missoula

Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 124

You deserved it 1 482

By Anonymous - 20/03/2013 19:45 - United States - Piscataway

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 873

You deserved it 3 449

Creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 283

You deserved it 2 528

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 893

You deserved it 3 723

By poopboy - 16/01/2017 10:49

Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 365

You deserved it 859

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 111

You deserved it 2 563

Sneekert 4

Wednesday 31 October 2012 8:53

Well... they are not. they are usually a couple of degrees colder to keep errors during sperm production down. Tell him he messes up his sperm by warming the balls with his hands.

Angel1000168 16

Wednesday 31 October 2012 8:52

Run. Now. Or ask to be moved. Practically beg. Your choice.

Comments

marramrammar 2

Wednesday 31 October 2012 13:37

LOL- he was telling the truth, but I think his hand was cold and he placed it between his legs. So instead of you thinking he is a perv, he was trying to tell you he is warming his hands. Maybe he wanted to know if you wanted to warm your hands, as well!

laden_swallow09 34

Wednesday 31 October 2012 14:34

Well… they are.

Ebolaconflict 11

Wednesday 31 October 2012 14:43

Epic!

ballpython 15

Wednesday 31 October 2012 15:19

You should casually say to him next time "I hear there is a really cool club in your ass. you should poke your head in and check it out."

soja_fml 18

Wednesday 31 October 2012 16:03

Should have*

nattnatt73 31

Wednesday 31 October 2012 16:37

Creeper!

lhamil64_fml 5

Wednesday 31 October 2012 16:48

Semester? Does that mean your in college? Why would you have assigned seats in college?

Quiet_one 22

Wednesday 31 October 2012 21:27

Not necessarily. Both high schools I went to had semesters, and even though that's not the only way to divide the year it's pretty common. I assumed the OP was in high school or middle school based on the assigned seats.

friscosoonerkid 3

Thursday 1 November 2012 23:10

Op can be in high school and that will explain the assign seats. I'm in high school and we have semesters. Each semester is a half credit in a year long class

iAmPaul 49

Wednesday 31 October 2012 16:56

Wow what a disgusting pervert...

ShantiKumar 4

Wednesday 31 October 2012 17:43

he is also biologically incorrect. balls hang lower than the rest of the body to keep then 2 degrees celsius cooler. so he is dumb and a pervert.

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 31 October 2012 18:22

I dont think so. Balls hang low and away from the body to keep them slightly cooler than your core temperature. To prevent any issues with sperm production.