Inappropriate and Miscellaneous: Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary,...

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By god - 29/04/2014 18:48 - United Kingdom - Livingston

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 338

You deserved it 5 572

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Same thing different taste

Creeper Alert

By of fucking course - 05/09/2017 06:00

Today, I was feeling a little frisky and started making out with my husband on our couch. He had just taken off my shirt when a strange smell hit my nose. I turned my head and saw my alcoholic neighbor with a cigarette in his hand, watching the entire thing unfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 155

You deserved it 899

By suffersecks - 20/01/2012 23:54 - United States

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 666

You deserved it 6 204

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 092

You deserved it 51 023

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 242

You deserved it 4 511

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 794

You deserved it 15 190

By princess - 12/04/2014 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 598

You deserved it 7 165

Common passion

By ShowerheadGirl - 09/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable shower head. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, "You too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 172

You deserved it 25 263

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 17:26 - United States

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 878

You deserved it 5 564

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 700

You deserved it 1 024

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 208

You deserved it 408

PossiblyInDanger 24

Wednesday 30 April 2014 0:07

At least you didn't find out he was cheating on you.

niallo 23

Wednesday 30 April 2014 0:08

At least he kept a good grip on the situation.

Comments

lil_tomahawk25 17

Wednesday 30 April 2014 1:21

"Actually, I'm not even mad. That's amazing"

ChelzTheWolfGirl 29

Wednesday 30 April 2014 1:26

I'm thoroughly disgusted Op. Be very thankful he didn't get caught!

chrisbreastr0kr 11

Wednesday 30 April 2014 1:28

Mental Masturbation.

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 30 April 2014 1:29

I feel bad for the employee who has to clean up after your nasty hubby.

Sniper_Chick4110 20

Wednesday 30 April 2014 1:32

Maybe people did notice.. they probably thought he had a mental handicap and were being polite to ignore it. This is also why you should choose to never shake hands with men if you can avoid it.