Miscellaneous: Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and...

By dontrapeme - 26/09/2012 10:30 - United States

Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 944

You deserved it 1 945

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Same thing different taste

Spotted it

By dollabill009 - 06/06/2013 08:49 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large muscular man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 286

You deserved it 8 563

By Anonymous - 19/05/2012 02:35 - United States

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 505

You deserved it 2 376

By fuckoffandfuckoffagainyoucunt - 17/08/2012 16:27 - United Kingdom - Sittingbourne

Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 607

You deserved it 2 771

By juggalomurderer59 - 12/11/2014 16:00 - United States

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 794

You deserved it 9 539

Distraction

By girlie - 04/03/2009 23:45 - United States

Today, I was in the gym when I noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the treadmill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until I got a sports bra that actually worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 445

You deserved it 47 505

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 161

You deserved it 54 042

We're the main characters

By GymHunky - 03/11/2021 11:00

Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 152

By Anonymous - 22/01/2017 16:00

Today, while I was at the gym, I saw a guy walk into the girls locker room. I was walking nearby so I said, "Hey man, that's the wrong one." Turns out it was just a very masculine-looking woman, with a very masculine haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 806

You deserved it 2 296

Know your place

By genderbender - 17/11/2010 01:21 - Reserved

Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked, "Women's weights room." Oh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 956

You deserved it 27 095

By Anonymous - 02/02/2016 10:17 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 160

You deserved it 2 279

supportcommand 17

Wednesday 26 September 2012 16:05

Don't drop the soap in the shower.

walmartpaysme 15

Wednesday 26 September 2012 16:05

Run, OP. Run fast.

Comments

raccoon1234 3

Thursday 27 September 2012 1:07

Tell him: "that's cool, where I was locked up they made us wear all white and they tied our sleeves behind our backs."

MrHotShot22 6

Thursday 27 September 2012 1:19

Did he make you eat his **** meat sandwich yet?

woeisme134 0

Thursday 27 September 2012 2:35

Resistance is Futile....

blackops2_fml 0

Thursday 27 September 2012 3:08

I don't think it's called "jumped" if it's only one person! Ur just simply gonna get ur ass whooped! Lol

YOUNGGthang 4

Thursday 27 September 2012 3:11

Or raped

beclaurela 18

Thursday 27 September 2012 3:33

Or raped.

gigi03 5

Thursday 27 September 2012 5:59

I don't think your going to get jumped OP. squeeze your butt hole tight.!

Puneknocker 0

Thursday 27 September 2012 6:07

I don't think your gonna get jumped..more like butt ****** lol

IYagura06 2

Thursday 27 September 2012 9:28

I'm sure posting this fml is of top priority before getting to safety.

imperialtl 12

Thursday 27 September 2012 13:24

Either jumped or raped. Run Forest run!

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The Top

Today, I found out my fiancé has been sleeping with his therapist behind my back. If that wasn't bad enough on its own, I'd talked him into starting therapy six months ago to help with his mental health troubles, and have been mostly paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 374

You deserved it 229

Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 89

The Top

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 637

You deserved it 15 543

Today, my cousin's three kittens peed all over every single pair of shoes under my desk, including some expensive heels. I spent two and a half hours cleaning all eighteen pairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 982

You deserved it 823

Today, I carpooled with my boss for the first time. To avoid any small talk, which makes me really anxious, I turned on my Spotify. Unfortunately, I forgot I'd been listening to a true crime podcast the night before. We spent the next 15 minutes listening to a gruesome murder description before I realized it. My boss looked horrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 489

Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 273

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 667

You deserved it 5 439

Today, for the first day in our bakery, our intern brought croissants and rolls from our biggest competitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 68