Work: Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 973

You deserved it 4 045

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Same thing different taste

Wobble wobble

By Dr.Octopus454 - 07/10/2011 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 146

You deserved it 3 628

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 146

You deserved it 3 005

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 21:45 - United States - Plainsboro

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 887

You deserved it 5 959

By niiiiiiiiiikki - 08/01/2011 20:35 - United States

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 519

You deserved it 2 496

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 07:02 - Canada

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 269

You deserved it 3 474

By spaghett - 29/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 162

You deserved it 1 821

Mega creep

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 18:00

Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 174

You deserved it 205

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 93

By ifeelfat - 17/06/2014 20:44 - United States

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 154

You deserved it 8 098

By CA - 08/10/2015 14:46 - Norway

Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 589

You deserved it 1 633

Next

Top comments

Lillinette 2

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:06

you'd tap that. admit it.

ffmmllyaya 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:05

confidence ftw

Comments

unknown_female 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 2:16

HA i would be rofl'ing all over the place :D it sound HILARIOUS to just encounter yourself with the weirdest of people!!!!!!!

Aj4710 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 2:25

heh heh heh...

pleasenopuffin 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 2:31

Big deal. Old people do/say stuff like that all time. Ever spend a day in a retirement community? You would be surprised by what some of them say.

emmierazzie 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 2:35

that is gross!

JordynAlexis 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 2:38

Not a MILF, but FILF. ;D

BtcKashew 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 2:50

Don't worry. it's just pedoman doing his job.

princess09 3

Thursday 18 March 2010 2:51

Um soOoO?

Cocnutbanger97 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 2:57

Wow , REALLY uncomfortable 0_0

fcukb0o 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 3:06

uhmm ew.

momo22_fml 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 3:06

liar

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 885

You deserved it 61 098

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 80

The Top

Today, my family, grandma included, took some time to discuss whether or not olive oil is a suitable substitute for lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 630

You deserved it 1 983

Today, my brother and his girlfriend are fighting about something they agreed on YEARS ago. Every couple of months this argument comes back and his girlfriend changes the rules or the definition. I can’t believe she gonna become my sister-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 105

Today, I realized I’m always being told how “amazing” I am, yet no guy wants to choose me. I’m that girl who is always overlooked and friend-zoned. I have so much love to give yet I never get any of it in return. I guess I should adopt lots of cats and write off guys forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 240

Today, I decided to lighten my hair. I applied the dye and waited 20 minutes. When I went to wash the dye out, the water wouldn't turn on. After my head started to burn, I called the landlord in a panic. Turns out there was a water main break and the entire city block doesn't have water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 766

You deserved it 5 980

Today, I arrived for a job interview and I wanted to give a firm handshake to make a good impression, because apparently that's a thing. I squeezed the interviewer's hand so hard I heard a "crack" and they winced in pain. I'm never taking advice from a random LinkedIn post ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 634

Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 828

You deserved it 29 952