Work: Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes...

By Anonymous - 17/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 973

You deserved it 4 045

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Same thing different taste

Wobble wobble

By Dr.Octopus454 - 07/10/2011 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 146

You deserved it 3 628

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 146

You deserved it 3 005

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 21:45 - United States - Plainsboro

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 887

You deserved it 5 959

By niiiiiiiiiikki - 08/01/2011 20:35 - United States

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 519

You deserved it 2 496

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 07:02 - Canada

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 269

You deserved it 3 474

By spaghett - 29/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 162

You deserved it 1 821

Mega creep

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 18:00

Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 174

You deserved it 205

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 93

By ifeelfat - 17/06/2014 20:44 - United States

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 154

You deserved it 8 098

By CA - 08/10/2015 14:46 - Norway

Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 589

You deserved it 1 633

Lillinette 2

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:06

you'd tap that. admit it.

ffmmllyaya 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:05

confidence ftw

Comments

chargerfan512 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:39

sounds like some of the old ppl at the pool I lifeguard at. hilarious

bleedinginside 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:42

Giorgio272 2

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:48

damn baby you got the old men after yo, no need to be scared just embrace it. think of how much cash you can gold dig off the fool bitch. see it as an opportunity instead of a "o **** creeper" moment.

McFail_fml 4

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:56

In a while he'll probably be underwater 'discretely' jerking off.

WhatYouThought 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:57

Chill out. I know plenty of older guys, and the odds are that this guy was joking. Old guys have a sense of humour as well--apparently one that you don't get, haha

gagtjs 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 2:04

or he could be a rapist.........

brucesgirl 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 2:00

pervert

katmandont 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 2:01

Just because he was joking doesn't mean its not an FMD (**** My Day). For all you guys out there, just reverse the genders and picture you're a lifeguard and some old droopy (butt or ****, doesn't matter) gramma is checking you out and making lip-licking gestures while giving you the "cum-hither" stare. (shudder)