Work: Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes...

By Anonymous - 17/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 973

You deserved it 4 045

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Same thing different taste

Wobble wobble

By Dr.Octopus454 - 07/10/2011 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 146

You deserved it 3 628

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 146

You deserved it 3 005

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 21:45 - United States - Plainsboro

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 887

You deserved it 5 959

By niiiiiiiiiikki - 08/01/2011 20:35 - United States

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 519

You deserved it 2 496

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 07:02 - Canada

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 269

You deserved it 3 474

By spaghett - 29/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 162

You deserved it 1 821

Mega creep

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 18:00

Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 174

You deserved it 205

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 93

By ifeelfat - 17/06/2014 20:44 - United States

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 154

You deserved it 8 098

By CA - 08/10/2015 14:46 - Norway

Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 589

You deserved it 1 633

Lillinette 2

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:06

you'd tap that. admit it.

ffmmllyaya 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:05

confidence ftw

Comments

ydiftw 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:09

I wanna make love this club.. I mean pool

linamerri 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:18

wow..lame

ryguy1997 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:09

That's a very kinky old molester.

TheTrollinator 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:11

So why is this an FML? he said he didn't mind, old people are so funny

Caz_the_Spaz 6

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:11

old men in tight swimsuits are terrible!

Sirducki 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:14

That guy is getting laid tonight methinks..... giggity

Sirducki 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:15

Thats not me thats for sure.... ....giggity....wait oh now I'm sad

Peacemaker9 7

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:15

but i bet the op does every day anyway!!!!!!

wow_badfml 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:16

lol

cheap123 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:18

"Today, I went swimming, when I saw the life guard checking me out. I knew my swim suit had gotten a little tighter over the years, and this guy was just eying me up. So I went over to him and told him I don't want him fantasizing about me anymore, he looked as if he was about to cry, and the only thing I could think to say was, actaully I wouldn't mind it if you did. Cheered him right up, but now I can't go swimming anymore. FML."

cheap123 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:27

Ok so OP is a woman, ignore my post as it makes no sense unless this old guy is gay... But then it seems more of a compliment than anything... So, even if the old guy is gay, my post still makes no sense.

Monikabug 9

Thursday 18 March 2010 5:52

You got it. Consider it ignored. :)

saranottelling 7

Thursday 18 March 2010 1:19

He was bound to find out about your erotic fantasies sooner or later. He found the camera in his changing room and noticed all his used towels were going missing. He's not as stupid as you thought, but at least he's okay with your fantasies and will let you keep the camera on while he changes. ...Yeah, I'm good at reading between the lines.