Health: Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom...

By Madridsta - 28/06/2014 06:28 - United States - Rialto

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 911

You deserved it 7 845

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Same thing different taste

By NoPrivacy - 26/04/2012 10:44 - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 173

You deserved it 34 734

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 918

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 20:56 - United States

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 839

You deserved it 15 017

By yolo is for shitheads - 09/10/2012 16:07 - United States

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 440

You deserved it 2 168

By shit - 28/04/2016 11:05 - United States - Colonial Heights

Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 946

You deserved it 8 150

Admission time

By peeoncarl1111 - 29/01/2011 01:06 - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 486

You deserved it 120 583

By navyma - 17/09/2009 05:10 - Korea Republic of

Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 772

You deserved it 4 302

Symphonic

By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 22:46 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 827

You deserved it 4 914

Smell you later

By Anonymous - 17/10/2009 19:48 - United States

Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 784

You deserved it 2 702

Great timing

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 18:01 - Australia

Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 118

Welshite 39

Saturday 28 June 2014 16:11

Well, you /did/ just lose what small amount of wisdom you had.

kAPISH 29

Saturday 28 June 2014 16:12

I don't need to be high for shouting that. Pooping is some serious shit.

Comments

GentlemanBastard 15

Sunday 29 June 2014 15:29

Everyone has different reactions to drugs. Doesn't mean they were different drugs.

TheBurdenOfLife 9

Sunday 29 June 2014 17:00

After getting my teeth extracted, I saw purple mountains, unicorns and goblins. I also told my boyfriend at the time that I thought lesbian sex would be weird and referred to it as "bumping knees." I do not remember any of that.

Blaphlafagus 19

Sunday 29 June 2014 19:33

According to my mother I punched the dentist when he knocked me out so that he could take out my wisdom teeth

kittylevin 8

Sunday 29 June 2014 20:47

And that's why I got my wisdom teeth out with only local anesthetic.

cheesebond 29

Monday 30 June 2014 12:29

When I had an appendisectimy not sure how to spell, I realized I had my underwear taken off while unconious and told my nurse my "cobra" was going to "bite" her if she didn't back off. I was referring to my male genitalia

Lsidak715 8

Tuesday 1 July 2014 15:57

Stuff like that happens to everyone One of my brothers started insulting the doctor who went to Yale (my bro goes to Harvard, rivals) asking to get his teeth back and talking in Arabic My other brother was really scared after he woke up And my other brother is getting them out this week