Love: Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out...

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By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 752

You deserved it 6 426

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Same thing different taste

Sick burn

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 484

You deserved it 8 201

Baked

By Monty - 01/03/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 531

You deserved it 15 622

Kitchen nightmare

By cookiemonster - 13/08/2013 16:10 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 460

You deserved it 6 693

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 138

By Jaws - 10/02/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 781

You deserved it 38 602

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 117

You deserved it 64 159

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 655

You deserved it 3 499

By .. - 13/09/2011 14:48 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 255

You deserved it 4 125

By Jlipka - 22/05/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 859

You deserved it 5 606

Smooth operator

By Nic - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 956

You deserved it 46 071

niiick97_fml 3

Sunday 3 April 2011 19:47

priceless.

xdust 4

Sunday 3 April 2011 19:49

Hansel and Grettal all over again. Your husband might be a witch.

Comments

imsogangster13 0

Monday 4 April 2011 2:01

are you jewish ?

raray116 0

Monday 4 April 2011 2:14

think it's time to get those divorce papers

sannamm 5

Monday 4 April 2011 2:20

lol. FYI. but this is soooo funny if you picture it :p

LeeRichie 0

Monday 4 April 2011 2:34

my favorite fml ever

nutbutter1 0

Monday 4 April 2011 2:44

is he a Nazi by any chance?

jmart110 0

Monday 4 April 2011 2:47

Wahhhhhhhahabababa Are you ok! What a dumb thing to do esp. Of you are skinny and didn't know his strength

Mauskau 35

Monday 4 April 2011 2:48

lmfaooooo

ALLSTARWKND96 0

Monday 4 April 2011 2:54

I have a feeling he was TRYING to push you in the oven. who would slap someone's butt that was leaning into the oven that hard?

puttiemonster 0

Monday 4 April 2011 2:54

I feel like she has a fatass

katies94 0

Monday 4 April 2011 2:58

Hitler alert!

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The Top

Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 311

You deserved it 3 598

Today, we’ve been unable to have sex for months due to my boyfriend’s health issues. I would never EVER cheat on him; however my unconscious mind has other ideas. I’ve dreamt of kinky sex with everyone from the maintenance man to gettin' freaky with detective Stabler. I’m so horny I’m gonna burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 292

The Top

Today, my ex, who “didn’t believe in posting our relationship on social media”, has no problem posting his new girlfriend and showing her off. He acts like he won a very valuable prize with her, and I was left in the shadows for the whole year we dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 123

Today, after coming back from work, I panicked as I noticed that my rabbit was having a hard time breathing. So I went straight to the vet. I paid 40€ for him to tell me that he had hiccups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 87

Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 120

You deserved it 2 582

Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 594

You deserved it 299

Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 709

You deserved it 4 038

Today, I was bitched out by my shrew of a mother for getting engaged, to a man. She's not homophobic, but rather pissed off because gay marriage is "trendy" and she wants me to be "above that nonsense". Hurray for love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 957

You deserved it 3 735