Work: Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about...

By sharni88 - 04/03/2011 07:13 - Australia

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 993

You deserved it 29 372

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Same thing different taste

Spoke too soon

By Oops - 06/02/2010 08:17 - Australia

Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with, "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 046

You deserved it 6 088

Lackey

By Anonymous - 12/05/2022 12:00 - Australia - Batesford

Today, at 1 am, I got a message from a colleague, who I have never met, bossing me around requesting "immediately, ASAP" some information a monkey could've found online in 5 minutes. I told her that she sounded rude and unorganised. Ten minutes later, I got a mail from my boss asking me to apologise to her. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 303

By smarter than a mollusk, skinner than a hippo - 10/11/2010 17:33 - United States

Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 854

You deserved it 4 500

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 05:25 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I was emailing a government employee at the place I'm hoping to get hired by. I realized too late I had been emailing her with my personal email address, which is rather jokey and unprofessional. She noticed and started referring to me as that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 427

You deserved it 7 014

By teeth - 30/01/2009 18:23 - United States

Today, I meant to forward an email to my friend mocking a coworker's email, but I hit "reply" instead of "forward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 252

You deserved it 45 927

Three cheers for the boobies

By Laura - 28/04/2021 11:01

Today, I sent a reply-all email to my entire company that said "Go tit" instead of "Got it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 678

By warp_routine - 31/03/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200 958

You deserved it 13 911

Never cross the streams

By FiredAF - 20/02/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was emailing my department about a huge meeting we’re going to have. I was also emailing back and forth with another colleague about office gossip. I absentmindedly replied to the wrong email. I hit reply all to the meeting e-mail, saying that the new supervisor of X department was "so fucking retarded." FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 1 201

Off to a good start!

By lovergirl - 27/07/2017 12:00 - United States - Orem

Today, I received an email from a potential employer with an awesome job opportunity. I was so excited, I immediately went to forward the email to my husband. My email included a lot of "I love you" and "we are going to celebrate tonight ;)". In my excitement, I hit reply instead of forward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 992

You deserved it 1 977

Rude but fair

By BeverlyC - 29/11/2021 08:00

Today, an overweight coworker of mine was saying that her favorite mythical creatures was Mermaids, because she considers them graceful, carefree and aesthetically beautiful, like her. I absentmindedly blurted out, “Not with that body.” The word “Sorry” didn’t cut it for the write up I received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 3 168

jamsie_fml 17

Friday 4 March 2011 12:05

haha i hope she sits on you as punishment

SillyEars 0

Friday 4 March 2011 11:57

silly zoo...

Comments

raisin88_fml 3

Friday 4 March 2011 17:47

What does outranking meanin this context? (To the haters out there: English is not my first language and I have a bit of trouble with vocabulary)

tona01 16

Friday 4 March 2011 21:31

outranking means that the hippo is in a higher position ergo hippo is the boss

tona01 16

Friday 4 March 2011 21:33

it means that hippo holds a higher position in the company, ergo hippo is the boss

NotYourOrdinary7 6

Friday 4 March 2011 17:58

I think the term he/she meant was subconsciously.

grrrkgrrrl 0

Friday 4 March 2011 18:03

Freudian slip of the keyboard

kingtz 6

Friday 4 March 2011 18:06

Don't you mean "subconsciously" instead of "intentionally"?

kingtz 6

Friday 4 March 2011 18:08

or pig. A fat stinking ***** pig.

slickrasta 1

Friday 4 March 2011 19:34

Maybe don't use such homosexual terms as "thanks heaps". YDI

evildeadfan420 0

Friday 4 March 2011 19:53

actually 26, when someone puts a post on here, wether male or female, they get made fun of...definitely haven't seen a high five yet

dansco 24

Saturday 5 March 2011 1:37

"Accidentally" and thanx heaps? Yeah yeah pure idiot! Fired soon...

Skatejock21 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 2:45

hahah that made my day

j_cat187 19

Saturday 5 March 2011 4:47

#9 rofl (the pic nog ur comment)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 873

You deserved it 3 148

Today, I ran into my ex at the mall. He’s married, with a 2 year-old. Three years ago he ended our 6-year relationship because he said he didn’t believe in marriage and kids. Sorry for not being good enough to achieve those things with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 224

The Top

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten-free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 777

You deserved it 2 244

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 657

You deserved it 2 512

Today, I learned that my mother might not live much longer. My boyfriend, instead of showing compassion asked me, "We're still having video chat sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 808

You deserved it 4 644

Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 015

You deserved it 2 664

Today, after years of toil and stress, and months of agony and torture, I have received my iGCSE exam results. I passed them all but because I'm a perfectionist and didn't get the highest grades, I feel like crap. Now I'm thinking about how I'll have to go through it all again for A levels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 783

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 985

You deserved it 42 529