Miscellaneous: Today, while cleaning the house, I discovered that my husband...

By grossedout - 06/09/2011 05:33 - United States

Today, while cleaning the house, I discovered that my husband has been making a little mountain of whatever he finds up his nose on the underside of our couch when he watches TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 125

You deserved it 2 535

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Same thing different taste

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 603

You deserved it 5 196

By blushingbride - 09/02/2014 21:59 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 368

You deserved it 4 455

By no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no - 01/09/2013 20:04 - Greece - Athens

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 300

You deserved it 3 227

By rozziepop - 30/03/2012 05:37 - United States - Visalia

Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 468

You deserved it 3 530

By kimmybr - 22/09/2009 09:36 - United States

Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 713

You deserved it 5 600

Skiver

By Anonymous - 02/07/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while my husband and I were cleaning out a closet, he went outside to throw out some trash. He was taking a long time to return and I went to make sure he was OK. He was in the living room watching TV instead of helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 128

By EwwEwwEww - 19/02/2017 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 862

You deserved it 464

Chemical warfare

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 21:00 - Canada - Terrace

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 429

There's a time and a place

By Anonymous - 11/11/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we are having work done and our chimney breast has a hole where a brick is missing. Well, my husband thought it would be funny to rig up some realistic spider leg things that would poke out of the hole next to my face. I had to wash the sofa cushion because I pissed myself from fright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 101

Digging it

By blech - 08/12/2014 23:08 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 766

You deserved it 2 560

kyliebear 15

Tuesday 6 September 2011 11:56

i could never see myself staying with someone like him..

almariee 2

Tuesday 6 September 2011 11:58

that is so disgusting.... eww I would've made him clean the shit up

Comments

Mirjam_fml 11

Tuesday 6 September 2011 14:24

Wow. Aren't you glad you married the guy........

juturnaamo 29

Tuesday 6 September 2011 14:30

OP, he's not making a mountain, he's making a stalactite. Not nearly as bad...

k1ngd1ck 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 14:43

Mix it with his dinner tonight!!

birds_fml 7

Tuesday 6 September 2011 14:45

OP: my husband used to smear his boogers on whatever the hell happened to be nearby. The mattress, the underside of the desk... everywhere. USED TO. Know how I fixed that problem? I told him that if I ever found one of his boogers ANYWHERE that wasn't a tissue again, I would tell his parents, my parents, his friends, and everyone else he knows that he wipes his boogers all over the house. He hasn't done it once since.

lmaoatall 6

Tuesday 6 September 2011 14:55

That you know of!

loserman67 35

Tuesday 6 September 2011 15:06

So you found his booger pile. I'd stop looking or you might find the pile of crust he picks from his ass crack. You got a real winner there!

mrlopez 13

Tuesday 6 September 2011 15:20

Damn that little booger...

noahtruesdale 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 15:20

Wouldn't that be like more of a stalagmite of crap?

EPICROCKERNINJA 8

Tuesday 6 September 2011 15:30

I think I just threw up a little.....

GEFStryker 29

Tuesday 6 September 2011 17:22

Q. Why did the booger cross the road? A. Because he was being picked on! Sorry, couldn't resist. But seriously, tell him if wants to do the horizontal mamba with you anymore he'd better make the tissues dance by putting a little boogie in them.