Miscellaneous: Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be...

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 421

You deserved it 54 851

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Same thing different taste

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 476

You deserved it 9 612

By fuckendog - 25/07/2014 06:05 - Australia - Virginia

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 228

You deserved it 55 788

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 012

You deserved it 8 075

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 198

You deserved it 8 411

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 115

You deserved it 64 142

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 288

By Mouhahaa - 09/05/2012 03:48 - France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 655

You deserved it 36 372

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 989

Chop chop

By shaz - 27/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 124

By unknown - 21/09/2011 12:40 - Philippines

Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 627

You deserved it 39 165

peete182 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 12:15

Wait until she falls asleep then take all of her left shoes, leave the right ones, she won't know what's going on

leftyy 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 14:13

then there would be nothing LEFT

Comments

rastafunk 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 21:41

How's your burnt balls?

sarahrocrocrocks 5

Monday 24 October 2011 3:20

eww!! a raw porkchop?!?! ewwwwww thats so grosss whats wrong with you?

tanl 0

Monday 24 October 2011 4:27

lol

raphdragon02 8

Monday 24 October 2011 11:41

did you want some fried with that?

GADefence 2

Monday 24 October 2011 12:39

Throwing cold cooking grease on your = acceptable. Punch. Her. In. The. Face. Seriously, that shit must burn like a @#$%er.

chilla4m3 6

Monday 24 October 2011 17:29

I love the FMLs that begin with "I thought it would be funny..." and ends with "He/she thought it would be funny to do (something painful or worse)..."