Intimacy: Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked...

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By whatadisappointmnet - 05/11/2011 18:58 - United States

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 608

You deserved it 9 975

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Same thing different taste

Sexy catboys rule my life

By verno02 - 10/08/2010 23:58 - Canada

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 125

You deserved it 8 806

By :(((( - 27/04/2011 06:54

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 220

You deserved it 7 110

By Drafrica - 13/10/2014 10:20 - South Africa

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 749

You deserved it 5 801

The Lovecats

By HaedLei - 26/11/2013 12:17 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 274

You deserved it 5 876

Awkward

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 00:30

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to cuddle as we usually do. To prepare for this, the first thing I always do is dive into bed. This time, I felt something squishy under the covers, and screamed when I saw it was a Fleshlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 902

By isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 380

You deserved it 6 168

Repetition

By Anonymous - 24/07/2022 03:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, it was my first time with a new boyfriend. We had sex in my living room. He asked if he could "eat my pussy." This has became my parakeet's new favorite phrase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 419

Not helping

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 06:00 - Spain

Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 1 308

Snuggle up

By addictedtofml - 24/02/2009 07:31 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 820

You deserved it 19 987

Pussy power

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 17:15 - United States - Noblesville

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 769

You deserved it 5 594

fenceme235 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 1:32

Hope he ment yours

spyman178 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 1:32

Meow

Comments

elisabeth1_fml 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 10:36

I would be a bit worried bout the plural ******* . Shouldn't it be pussy!

chickenpie90 16

Sunday 6 November 2011 11:33

What a jerk

angryyute 4

Sunday 6 November 2011 13:29

Pussy makes me happy too

Epikouros 31

Sunday 6 November 2011 14:19

Why do you have a picture of a small penis, wiccanbeauty?

wthmam 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 14:57

Wise man right there

BritLass 15

Sunday 6 November 2011 15:08

I think that could have been a possible hint (:

MikeHeartsVans 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 15:28

Like A Boss.

natty1207 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 17:18

Epic

BradenLock 4

Sunday 6 November 2011 18:00

That's what you get for dating a 6 year old.

brianalexandria 2

Sunday 6 November 2011 19:02

hey, at least he's honest.

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Embarrassing Work Farts Technology Health Relatable Family Awkward Love Death Miscellaneous Cops Teenagers Shopping Bosses Restaurants Kids Annoying Babysitter Friends Intimacy Parents Sex Birthday Mysterious Dreams Snoring Cute AITA Argument

The Top

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 464

You deserved it 42 619

Today, I went on a date. I didn’t want to go to his house, but we all have needs. I told him I should leave because I needed my medication in the morning. Passed out. Woke up, had a seizure, then made him go to my apartment to get my meds. This was a first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 637

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I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 86

Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 126

You deserved it 25 510

Today, when I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 years, she said no because she thought we were moving too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 806

You deserved it 3 407

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 321

You deserved it 2 819

Today, I was supposed to hear back from a job I interviewed for. The guy called me and told me I got it. I said "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!" He responded with "You're welcome Emily". My name isn't Emily, it's Kim. He got the numbers mixed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 625

You deserved it 2 529

Today, it was sister’s birthday. I decided to give her money instead of a present, because I couldn’t come up with a gift idea. When she opened the envelope and took the $100 out, she looked at me and asked me if this was the best I could’ve done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 205