Transportation: Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped...

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 21:26 - United Kingdom

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 701

You deserved it 3 449

Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By carson28 - 17/12/2010 02:23 - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 231

You deserved it 6 354

You OK dude?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 71

By Anonymous - 18/02/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 062

You deserved it 2 460

By WamBamSam - 21/11/2012 09:54 - United Kingdom - Kidderminster

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 099

You deserved it 2 356

By Jessy - 14/10/2011 11:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 192

You deserved it 2 781

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 09:04 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 314

You deserved it 4 878

By jackpot - 09/05/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 462

You deserved it 3 023

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 383

You deserved it 3 614

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 701

You deserved it 3 928

Bashed

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 143

crumsnatcha 4

Friday 9 October 2009 2:00

At least you weren't riding a motorcycle.

MoonyIce 0

Friday 9 October 2009 1:55

Aaaand that. That there is one of the funniest things I've read all damn day. Thank you.

Comments

jw90 18

Friday 9 October 2009 2:09

I guess that's what you'd call a shitty situation! :)

megamatt215 0

Monday 16 August 2010 9:50

*rimshot*

misspeg 0

Friday 9 October 2009 2:24

besad_fml 0

Friday 9 October 2009 2:27

There are a lot of shitty puns here (pun not intended)

tina_xox 0

Friday 9 October 2009 2:27

ahhaha lol wtf is wrong with that man lol shitty situation

FloridaOranges 0

Friday 9 October 2009 2:29

Well that guy was just bat shit crazy :D

FredoSNR 0

Friday 9 October 2009 2:35

Honestly, this would have made my day.

z411811 0

Friday 9 October 2009 2:36

omg best shit I heard all day

Bloodknight 22

Friday 9 October 2009 2:41

Bwahaha!

mr_miyagi 0

Friday 9 October 2009 2:57

well at least he didnt ask you for spare change

monster_tamer 11

Friday 9 October 2009 3:02

Holy shit! XD

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Work Break-ups Love Relatable I need your advice Awkward Engagement Coworkers School Parenting Kids Parents Birthday Food Messy Miscellaneous Cooking Cats Dance Embarrassing Weddings Texting Poopoo peepee Health Clumsy Clothes Mental health Annoying Noise Lonely

The Top

Today, the guy I've been dating and sleeping with told me he is also dating another woman, but that they only kiss. I was under the impression we were exclusive for two months now, since I told him if we slept together that it would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 174

You deserved it 445

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 729

You deserved it 18 583

The Top

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 243

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 212

You deserved it 4 474

Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 619

You deserved it 5 566

Today, I'm in pretty good physical shape. No, wait, that was two years ago. Now I need to take a break after brushing each quadrant of my teeth because my arm gets tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 674

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 541

You deserved it 2 750

Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 261

You deserved it 323

Same thing different taste

You OK dude?

Bashed

Top comments

Comments