Miscellaneous: Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian...

FML for mobile
Free

By zombielover1 - 13/07/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian on TV. As he said his signature line, I laughed hysterically and accidentally snorted a jalapeño into my nose. I spent the next 5 minutes trying to snort out the little piece that got lodged into my nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 177

You deserved it 12 837

April Pisces: Traps and Laughs
Laugh at the best (and worst) April 1st jokes. Watch out, you could be next! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By yankesik - 03/01/2016 22:42 - Poland - Kalisz

Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 299

You deserved it 1 829

By Anonymous - 28/03/2012 16:25 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 101

You deserved it 30 149

By Snuffles - 24/04/2019 18:00

Today, while eating a BLT sandwich, I unexpectedly sneezed a lump of bacon up the back of my nose. It has just taken 6 hours of unpleasantness to snort the lump back out. Not how I wanted to spend my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 968

You deserved it 244

Performative

By OliviaO - 24/12/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 263

By BurnBabyBurn - 22/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Roberta

Today, after stopping to pick up dinner at a fast food joint, I got a nosebleed. I immediately reached into the bag to grab napkins and began stuffing them up my nose, only to find out too late that a mustard packet had burst in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 701

You deserved it 629

By DeepTaccer - 30/10/2010 21:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up… out my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 120

You deserved it 6 297

Doofus

By Anonymous - 02/02/2025 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was talking to my crush when I laughed so hard that I snorted. Then I tried to play it cool by saying, "I do that on purpose sometimes." Now he probably thinks I fake-snort for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 498

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 608

You deserved it 56 785

Date night

By Anonymous - 19/01/2025 03:00

Today, I sneezed while eating a bowl of soup. As I did, a glob of carrot shot out of my nose like a missile, and I couldn’t stop laughing. My boyfriend, who was sitting across from me, wasn’t so amused when the glob splashed all over his white shirt. He’s now mad at me for “ruining his only smart shirt.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 178

What am I doing?

By janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 594

You deserved it 66 569

Fredzter 0

Monday 13 July 2009 16:08

HAHAHAHAHA!! That is brilliant!! xD

Vasir 2

Monday 13 July 2009 16:21

This one time i accidently did that to a macoroni and cheese noodle. i sneezed out the noodle. It still had cheese..

Comments

Sokai_fml 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 19:58

I lol'd at the imagery of this.

Andie060309 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 6:34

Oh man. That just made my day. Im sorry that happened, but it made me smile...which i havent done in weeks.

IMTHEGREATEST 0

Sunday 16 May 2010 23:24

get er done?

chachi456 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 21:46

Jose the jalapeño, on a stiiiiick!

ZacharyorAndrew 0

Monday 23 August 2010 1:51

ya jeff dunhams fun e

Amoo17 0

Friday 29 October 2010 18:40

This actually made me lmao. Thank you. It must have been so painful though :S

alifoxy 1

Wednesday 3 August 2011 5:07

YdI for snorting that's annoying

reeziboo 0

Friday 16 December 2011 1:35

OMG! The same thing happened to me but with divine yogurt toppings!

P374RD3D 9

Thursday 1 March 2012 2:40

On a stick

baseak95 1

Friday 6 April 2012 2:15

Dude best way to get it out is by using another one jkjk have fun with the pain my friend

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Skincare Awkward Intimacy Weird Sex Technology Anxiety Shopping Money Scams Insurance Friends Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Farts Relatable Family My ex Kids Parents Death Cops Teenagers Bosses Restaurants Annoying Babysitter

The Top

Today, I found out I only exist because my parents hated each other. They both worked in the same office and despised each other, until they had a hate-fuck in a storeroom after a blazing argument, resulting in me. I exist due to sex fuelled by hatred and lust. Yay me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 973

You deserved it 206

Today, I’m so over my boyfriend smoking too many cigarettes, and I hate cigarettes. The smell is just disgusting and plus it makes my nose stuffy. And he gets ashes everywhere. Plus he always leaves his room a mess. Other than him being financially stable and fun, he's such a slob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 771

The Top

Today, I realized that my flatmate showers so little that the furniture she uses smells like BO. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 82

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 616

You deserved it 32 613

Today, my extremely inebriated boyfriend casually mentioned that he wished I had a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 718

You deserved it 854

Today, I bought flowers with my groceries at the grocery store. After the cashier scanned them, he handed them back to me so they wouldn't get crushed in my cart. It was then that I realized he's the first man to ever hand me flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 269

Today, I had my girlfriend over at my parents for dinner. When we were done, my dad went around to collect all the dirty plates and stacked them on his arm. When he got to my girlfriend, the weight became too much and he and the plates fell on top of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 756

You deserved it 2 994

Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 457

You deserved it 3 078