Miscellaneous: Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian...

By zombielover1 - 13/07/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian on TV. As he said his signature line, I laughed hysterically and accidentally snorted a jalapeño into my nose. I spent the next 5 minutes trying to snort out the little piece that got lodged into my nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 173

You deserved it 12 834

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Same thing different taste

By yankesik - 03/01/2016 22:42 - Poland - Kalisz

Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 294

You deserved it 1 829

By Anonymous - 28/03/2012 16:25 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 099

You deserved it 30 145

By Snuffles - 24/04/2019 18:00

Today, while eating a BLT sandwich, I unexpectedly sneezed a lump of bacon up the back of my nose. It has just taken 6 hours of unpleasantness to snort the lump back out. Not how I wanted to spend my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 242

Performative

By OliviaO - 24/12/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 245

By BurnBabyBurn - 22/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Roberta

Today, after stopping to pick up dinner at a fast food joint, I got a nosebleed. I immediately reached into the bag to grab napkins and began stuffing them up my nose, only to find out too late that a mustard packet had burst in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 698

You deserved it 625

By DeepTaccer - 30/10/2010 21:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up… out my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 113

You deserved it 6 293

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 603

You deserved it 56 776

What am I doing?

By janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 592

You deserved it 66 559

Clogged

By ISmellBread - 15/12/2023 05:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I was quickly eating lunch during a work meeting. I ended up inhaling some of my sandwich so I've had toast stuck in my sinuses for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 255

By Username - 09/05/2011 17:23 - China

Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 241

You deserved it 10 551

Fredzter 0

Monday 13 July 2009 16:08

HAHAHAHAHA!! That is brilliant!! xD

Vasir 2

Monday 13 July 2009 16:21

This one time i accidently did that to a macoroni and cheese noodle. i sneezed out the noodle. It still had cheese..

Comments

JRSpaniel 0

Monday 13 July 2009 23:38

That's gotta be painful. D:

mochafrap 0

Monday 13 July 2009 23:43

spicy nose!

Lex1007 0

Monday 13 July 2009 23:44

x_X .. pop hurts enough when it comes out my nose - I can't imagine how much a jalapeno pepper would hurt

ithedarkknight 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 0:17

dude are you ERIC you so sound like my friend eric he would do something like that lol...

zombielover1 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 0:34

People have asked who the comedian was. Its Jeff Dunham when Achmed was out and said "SILENCE!........I KILL YOU!"

neonoodle 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 0:42

This guy knows what I'm talkin' about! This guy DEFINITELY knows what I'm talkin' about!

alchemist08 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 1:40

Ahaha I had a much worse experience when I was younger. Definitely worthy of a FML. :D

Casualt1234 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 3:57

ydi for laughing at a signature line

Casualt1234 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 4:00

especially one from jeff dunham

nirvan5a 1

Tuesday 14 July 2009 4:44

it happens to me sometimes, but not jalepano, rice.

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The Top

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 671

You deserved it 36 481

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 356

You deserved it 12 238

The Top

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 658

You deserved it 2 323

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 778

You deserved it 2 890

Today, now that my daughter is going through a phase where she can't sleep alone, I let her sleep in the room with me under the condition that she let me sleep. Message received. She took care not to wake me while placing about 30 stickers in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 346

You deserved it 818

Today, my girlfriend asked if she should get birth control, and of course I said yes, and even offered to pay the 55 dollar fee. She got her physical and pills, then dumped me. I basically paid 55 dollars so that she could sleep with other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 245

You deserved it 4 293

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 101

You deserved it 8 746

Today, I finally got to take the bus to the store on this icy cold day. I got there at 1 pm and found it closed. Their website said they'd open late at 10 am. Then, I missed a bus home and had to walk back in the ice and sludge. I slipped, fell on my ass, and my shoes and socks got soaked in dirty ice water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 100

Same thing different taste

Performative

What am I doing?

Clogged

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