Animals: Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker... - FML

By workaholic - 15/02/2012 11:09 - United States

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 264

You deserved it 3 012

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By loserllamalick - 07/10/2013 14:32 - United States - Rochester

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 723

You deserved it 39 686

By StudMuffinette - 18/07/2011 19:40 - United States

Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 278

You deserved it 2 980

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 879

You deserved it 2 799

By dogproblems - 27/01/2015 15:09 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 515

You deserved it 3 561

By Anonymous - 11/04/2013 19:38 - United Kingdom - Bridgnorth

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 527

You deserved it 8 485

Love is love

By Taylor505 - 07/10/2024 08:00 - United States - Ocala

Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 97

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:23 - United States - Mulino

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 550

You deserved it 5 505

By 99Problemsandfml - 08/11/2012 19:03 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 520

You deserved it 2 516

By RustyBulletHole - 04/02/2009 07:53 - United States

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 169

You deserved it 2 358

By tickdog - 19/03/2012 03:09 - United States - Rockwall

Today, I got my dog back from my aunt. Rather than taking him to an actual groomer, I gave him to my aunt because she needed a few extra bucks. My generosity lost me $35, and gave my dog ticks and a bad haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 881

You deserved it 5 476

Next

Top comments

zingline89 18

Wednesday 15 February 2012 16:08

You should have been more clear when you told him you prefered a shaved ****.

WCARlover 34

Wednesday 15 February 2012 16:04

Well at least it's not actually a naked mole rat...but no worries the hair will grow back soon enough

Comments

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 15 February 2012 16:22

Am I the only one picturing the boyfriend as the naked mole rat running around the house? I am? Very well, then. Carry on.

ninjuh_wingman 29

Wednesday 15 February 2012 16:25

The hair will grow back. Besides, naked mole rats are awesome.

commedia 16

Wednesday 15 February 2012 16:39

Just be glad you didn't request he cut your hair...

Pelreskovich 11

Wednesday 15 February 2012 16:44

It could be worse, could have cut his own hair to look like a naked mole rat! :/

shooz89 3

Wednesday 15 February 2012 16:49

The same thing happened to my Scotty. Unfortunately I payed for someone to do it.

Margemander 4

Wednesday 15 February 2012 17:06

Spare the brush and Spoil the haircut. *shrug*

Black_Rose6 10

Wednesday 15 February 2012 17:16

It would be so epic, and awesome if his name was Rufus! :) Kim Possible fans would get it lol

horneyhic 15

Wednesday 15 February 2012 17:17

Now it looks like the oversized rat it really is

Mr25_fml 14

Wednesday 15 February 2012 17:18

The name is Stoppable. Ron Stoppable

mikeymayhem_87 15

Wednesday 15 February 2012 17:27

Is it as ugly as a mole rat? I hope not, because mole rats are ugly as hell lol

christinnaaa 10

Wednesday 15 February 2012 17:29

may I call you Kim possible (:

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The Top

Today, I was supposed to be working from home. Instead, I ended up taking the kids out to the park for the morning, because my wife “couldn’t even” today. When we got home, she had demolished two bottles of wine, and was masturbating to a home improvement show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 042

You deserved it 326

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 932

You deserved it 6 772

The Top

Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 104

Today, I held a door open for my boyfriend and jokingly said, "Chivalry is dead?" He responded with, "Who's chivalry?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 254

You deserved it 7 864

Today, I found out that the only reason my "friend" comes over to my apartment is so that she can charge her phone using my electricity, because she's too cheap to use her own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 060

You deserved it 1 655

Today, I had a "nightmare" where I found out I had more homework than I originally realized, and spent the entire dream doing homework. There is no escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 548

You deserved it 203

Today, I was yelled at by my ex's best friend and ex-partner. Long story short, I cheated and no, it wasn't right and wasn't a good thing to do, but now I'm being told he has the right to remind me everyday and make sure I never forget my mistakes, and that they are supposed to make sure I never fall out of line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 736

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 593

You deserved it 5 250