By Emmy - 02/10/2011 06:36 - United States

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 373
You deserved it 3 363

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Sorry I read elevator... I made a mistake but thanks for pointing out that it said escalator :)

Comments

Some people have no problem letting it rip in public. My sister-in-law is like this. No matter where she is or what she is doing, she'll fart audibly as if it is no big deal. Her gas is particularly noxious so it IS a big deal, aside from the obvious fact that it is embarrassing to be seen with the public farter. You would think a 52-year-old woman would have better manners but you would be mistaken.

every1luvsboners 11

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What are you, an idiot? First of all, NOWHERE did I imply that public flatulence is illegal and it IS frowned upon, you ******* twit. Any adult with no mental or physical issues who deliberately farts in public is low class trash. And where did I say my gas/shit smells like roses? Learn to read and comprehend and PLEASE do not come to Pennsylvania. We have enough public farters without you adding your stench to the mix.

every1luvsboners 11

"low class trash" You're a ******* idiot. I'd love to shart right on your face, you idiot ****. You act like you've never farted. If that's the case, it's means that you're full of shit, and that is believable. STFU, tard.

Well, didn't you just prove my point. No decent adult deliberately farts publicly out of consideration for the others around that person. It has nothing to do with claiming that I never fart, which in fact again I NEVER SAID so way to read correctly and comprehend the words. I, as most normal adults would do, make an effort to not do so publicly so as to not offend others. You obviously have no sense of public decency and need to work on your reading comprehension as you continue to read one sentence and somehow manage to get a completely different meaning out of it. Really, you are the retard, not me. I am capable of reading a paragraph and correctly dissembling it whereas you read something and twist it into something else. And decent people 'shart' in toilets, not on the faces of others. Please grow up in addition to learning to read.

every1luvsboners 11

Yeah, because aggravating your nasal passage for all of two seconds is soooo uncomfortable. Get over yourself. I bet your undies have huge shat stains in them right now.

What on earth is wrong with you? I merely pointed out that it is a matter of common decency to not fart in public and you read into this comment that there is something wrong with me because I, to paraphrase you, can't stand sniffing out a stranger's fart for two seconds and that I am currently ******** my pants? First of all, most people go into public with the expectation that they will not have to sniff out a random stranger's fart bombs and secondly, flatulence and bowel movements are quite literally separate issues. Really, who among us considers it a pleasure and a privilege to be in public and smell a stranger's gas? I thought this was obvious.

I already have one, thank you. And next time I am out I will make it a point to get as close to a stranger as possible and fart since apparently this is a wonderful thing to do. For years I thought it was a simple matter of courtesy to refrain from this activity but thanks to all of the polite and sweet people here on this site I have hereby been corrected. I simply had no idea that public flatulence was to be expected and a good thing so thank heavens all of you are here to educate me in this regard. Thanks again and bombs away!

Bankrupt, stop arguing with the god Boners, he will smite you...

Well there really isn't much to argue about, is there? One of us thinks publicly farting in the faces of strangers is fine and acceptable behavior and one of us does not. The end. My bigger surprise was that I am in the minority opinion in this matter but I wonder what the 'pro-farters' would think if they were the recipient of the unpleasant smell from a random butt and not the instigator.

TaylorTotsYumm 10

It's common courtesy to not cut the cheese in public, but sometimes it just happens. Big deal. Plus, if you have any sense of humor at all, it'll make you laugh. It always gives me quite the chuckle when I'm out with my grandpa, at the grocery store, and he just let's 'em go. Farts are funny, natural, and definitely not the end of the world. Holding one in, though, especially a silent but deadly, is just the polite thing to do. I'd rather not have my nostrils full of noxious, sulfurous butt fumes.

Grow up. Farting in public should be frowned on. It is the lowest of poor manners and is inconsiderate and disrespectful to everyone around you. Use the rest room for farting the same as if you were taking a crap. You don't do that in a crowd, do you?

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Say something to your sister in law. She needs to know this is not acceptable. Tell your other relatives how crude and offensive her behavior is. Also, you have choices. You don't have to be around her.

llamalpaca382 13

You guys need to go outside and play nicely with your Malibu Barbie Dream House! Where's my lighter...?

enonymous 8

Why does bankrupt always have to write paragraphs, and about farts? Really? You are arguing on the Internet with strangers about farting, and you are telling people to grow up?

This argument was awesome, and made me fart

MissBunnyWillEat 11

"you might like to think your shit dont staaank, but lean a little bit closer see that roses really smell like poo-oo-oo..."

Well even though my opinion doesn't count, I am on Bankrupts side...

Good lord you people are ******* special. Arguing over farting. Really? You know bankrupt, sometimes, you just NEED TO FART. Be it in public or not, it HAPPENS. No, it is not pleasant nor is it polite but WHATEVER GET OVER it. Christ.

xeldawyn 14

I think bankrupt was held down by their uncle and farted on as a kid

cbdee 8

I just have 2 say I totally agree w/Bankrupt, we all fart/burp.. No need 2 do it on others, have some manners!!!! & OP is trippin, no need 2b soo close on the escalators, obviously u never know when they'll let one rip!

A fake fml !you said a " short lady " there is no way your face would be near her butt even in escalator, unless you two are the same size !

Actually, the OP said "small" not "short." One can be petite without being a midget and it is possible to be face-to-ass on an escalator with someone shorter than you.

Just so you know about 80% of FMLs here are fake or exagerated to make a good story.

You are absolutely correct, No. 29. I merely pointed out that No. 23 had read the FML incorrectly and that it is indeed physically possible for the alleged incident to occur.

doctor_awesome 8

Whatever. Everyone knows girls don't fart.

sDw693 4

wtf... I would have thrown up on her

every1luvsboners 11

I would follow her around for hours trying to catch another one in my mouth.

Lesson learned.... stay a few rotating stairs back next time. I wouldn't want to be that close to someone's ass anyways.