Miscellaneous: Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front...

By Emmy - 02/10/2011 06:36 - United States

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 373

You deserved it 3 363

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Same thing different taste

By WhatsThatSmell - 25/02/2011 13:25 - Australia

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 841

You deserved it 4 520

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 048

You deserved it 3 420

By Tanny - 19/04/2017 04:00

Today, I was playing basketball, and while trying to jump and shoot, I farted on the face of the person behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 657

You deserved it 644

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 569

You deserved it 41 812

Own it!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 440

Never trust your anus

By JacksFarts - 18/06/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in an elevator going up to the 32nd floor when I felt the urge to let out a fart. Feeling like it was either fart now or have appendicitis, and that it would be quiet, I thought no one would notice. It wasn't silent. It was loud and proud, and the cute girl next to me started laughing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 500

By Anonymous - 05/06/2011 20:45 - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 409

You deserved it 46 352

By whipplewhip - 30/06/2013 04:21 - United States

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 449

You deserved it 3 627

Get a load of this

By Zoro - 13/09/2023 21:00 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I had a wet fart with liquid in my underwear that I could smell. I let the one guy in front of me take the elevator so he wouldn't smell me. When the next empty elevator showed up, seven people started lining up behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 186

Stealth

By smellyhair - 02/11/2014 11:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 141

You deserved it 3 867

MarvelFF1243 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:30

Maybe because she's on a escalator.

luvppl 6

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:41

Sorry I read elevator... I made a mistake but thanks for pointing out that it said escalator :)

Comments

j_cat187 19

Sunday 2 October 2011 18:16

At least she didn't turn around and rip a massive queef in your face. You might need to be hospitalized like butters.

maddiewoah 15

Sunday 2 October 2011 18:19

Exactly why I never stand behind someone's butt. So uh... you kinda deserved that one, OP.

FreeDrawn 7

Sunday 2 October 2011 18:26

i never seen/heard a woman fart before !

emilo_fml 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 18:40

Feel the wind

laxerswag180 4

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:04

how'd it taste?

Bwames 0

Tuesday 4 October 2011 5:40

are you homosexual?

Rvah07 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:16

Wow that's really rude, did u say something to her?

tj4234 35

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:23

you must be really short if a small woman farted into your face.

lionlvr 9

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:24

Ewwwww, You should have acted like Stan on American dad when he gets something spilled on him. That would have been even more hilarious.

jcatrucker 6

Sunday 2 October 2011 20:01

Why you standing so close...YDI...

THE_A_TEEN 27

Sunday 2 October 2011 21:07

Because its an escalator, and farts linger afterward. also the escalator could have had a lot of people so maybe she didn't have a choice...

The_Troller 14

Sunday 2 October 2011 20:36

Any IIJERiiCHO subs out there reminded of something by this story?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 712

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 713

The Top

Today, my New Year’s Eve consisted of four things: being home alone, drinking cheap alcohol out of a tooth mug, getting an upset stomach from that, then going to bed early with ear plugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 245

Today, my fiancée is convinced that I just want to marry her to get a green card, so she doesn’t want to marry me anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 727

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 393

You deserved it 39 515

Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 755

You deserved it 3 256

Today, I discovered my parents have spent my college fund because "2012 will happen" before I graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 747

You deserved it 3 323

Today, my three-year-old told me he hates me cause I’m mean because I wouldn’t give him another cupcake. Now he is calling his grandma his new mommy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 174