Animals: Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me....

By Fat Arsed Lass - 01/06/2014 10:28 - New Zealand - East Tamaki

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 465

You deserved it 9 499

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Same thing different taste

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 575

By orely44 - 08/03/2013 14:13 - France - Rez

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction, and got off as fast as he got on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 9 610

By crazycatlady - 24/08/2016 09:43 - United States - Ashland

Today, I woke up with my cat's asshole planted firmly on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 189

You deserved it 1 577

Lazy day

By Fail - 17/03/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I got an exercise wheel for my cat. He took a nap on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 309

This is mine now

By tessamarque - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Bartlesville

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 958

You deserved it 4 609

Time to go to the vet

By Pooped - 08/09/2023 01:00 - United States

Today, my cat is extremely sick and has trouble grooming himself. As evidenced by his butt. He laid on me for a while and it wasn't until a few minutes after he got off that I realized he had stained my pants. That also explains why my chair suddenly looks so nasty, and why my room smells horrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 250

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 180

Almost done

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 05:00

Today, as I was trying to have some “self pleasure” time, my cat, WHO NEVER CUDDLES WITH ME, decides to come up and sit on my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 413

By xXWhiteSheepXx - 08/04/2016 02:28 - United States - Omaha

Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 756

You deserved it 2 416

By creedonfied - 06/11/2012 20:27 - United States - Billerica

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 324

You deserved it 2 994

singer0421 32

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:39

Don't feel bad OP! Cats will sleep on anything. Plus, they can fit in or on anything, ya feel? If it fits it sits.

zoeeileen 6

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:39

at least your cat lies on you haha :)

Comments

cpmagma 15

Sunday 1 June 2014 20:27

DAT ASS DOE!!! lol

blackfireplanet 1

Sunday 1 June 2014 20:33

what is the problem? you have a nice ass and your cats lucky enough to play with it

annunaki_fml 11

Sunday 1 June 2014 20:37

too much booty in the pants is becoming more widely accepted apparently. finally!!!

rawlings123 17

Sunday 1 June 2014 20:42

Well maybe you should do something about your weight instead of complaining about it.

shaunr40k 20

Sunday 1 June 2014 20:48

No complaints

raffcity 7

Sunday 1 June 2014 21:06

It's better than couch cussions

sandman2118 10

Sunday 1 June 2014 21:15

But at least the cat loves it:D

buckdharma 36

Sunday 1 June 2014 21:16

Maybe your cat is being sucked in by your ass's gravitational field.

omggitshaley_ 9

Sunday 1 June 2014 21:36

Lol I just find it funny how this FML is just the author trying to brag about how big her butt is xD

gabbywalliscool 5

Sunday 1 June 2014 21:58

Some people pay to have a big butt your good

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I agree, your life sucks 69 465

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I agree, your life sucks 43 358

You deserved it 2 667

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I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 97