Work: Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man...

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 21:45 - United States - Plainsboro

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 887

You deserved it 5 959

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Same thing different taste

By me - 22/06/2013 21:16 - United States - Findlay

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 811

You deserved it 3 245

By Anonymous - 17/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 973

You deserved it 4 045

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 07:02 - Canada

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 269

You deserved it 3 474

By random - 15/06/2011 14:23 - Canada

Today, I was approached by a police officer who instructed me to move because I was "threatening the elderly". I was sitting on a park bench in front of an old folks home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 479

You deserved it 3 187

Is this why they hate millennials? Because we won't date them?

By Graverobber - 23/11/2018 14:00

Today, as I was fueling my truck, I was asked out to dinner by a 65-year-old retiree. I'm 25. He stormed off and called me a bitch for politely turning him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 012

You deserved it 291

How very dare you?

By GotGasNotLuck - 05/05/2015 10:50 - Australia - Girraween

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 431

You deserved it 2 249

This charming man

By Anonymous - 13/09/2024 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 93

Wobble wobble

By Dr.Octopus454 - 07/10/2011 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 146

You deserved it 3 628

The road to hell…

By SirPimPim - 14/06/2010 14:32 - Sweden

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 426

You deserved it 13 445

By kaitlyna15 - 01/08/2012 01:54 - United States - Bellevue

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 012

You deserved it 1 810

xAkonz 10

Wednesday 26 June 2013 8:25

Well good morning to you too.

Smashhoof 15

Wednesday 26 June 2013 8:25

Sir doesn't exactly equate to old...

Comments

4everbymyself 12

Wednesday 26 June 2013 19:47

He called you "kid" thus making his argument invalid. Also "sir" and "ma'am" is just being respectul

LyraAlluse 25

Wednesday 26 June 2013 19:50

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. That guy sounds like he has a big dose of it.

Omniprism 14

Wednesday 26 June 2013 20:39

Next time call him bra instead and see how he likes that.

Kat7595 10

Wednesday 26 June 2013 23:03

Someone's insecure...

Tblankk34 8

Thursday 27 June 2013 0:32

Wow I say sir and ma'am to everyone. It is common courtesy.

Kc1001 14

Thursday 27 June 2013 1:57

Next time say, "good morning kid".

fantasyworld 37

Wednesday 1 October 2014 19:02

He's in denial about his age.

mr_supah 6

Thursday 27 August 2015 6:46

Would this community happen to be Village Grande in Mercer County?

dannnngthatsux 19

Tuesday 29 September 2015 23:30

There are assholes everywhere, shake it off and look for the good people to be around.

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The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 661

You deserved it 3 777

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 2 157

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me that when I orgasm, I sound like I'm choking. Only I'm not choking, I'm just getting the wind knocked out of me by his weight when he is on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 266

You deserved it 394

Today, I had a conversation with my work crush. I walked back to my office, only to realize I had breakfast in my hair. I had oatmeal for breakfast, and it looked like puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 304

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 228

You deserved it 24 832

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 212

Today, I went into a store for an interview. I've had several places wanting to talk to me and this job was a lot lower paying. I got a little cocky and when offered the job, I said I wanted some time to finish my other interviews first and see what my options were. The manager then took back his offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 730

You deserved it 27 714

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 069

You deserved it 6 953