Intimacy: Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy...

By myasshurts - 14/10/2011 23:03 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 735

You deserved it 6 665

When Christmas Ends Badly…
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Same thing different taste

By Volume_control - 10/11/2009 14:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 849

You deserved it 31 404

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 380

You deserved it 5 189

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 315

You deserved it 5 073

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 074

You deserved it 1 157

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 36 359

By keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 408

You deserved it 47 605

By Ape - 17/12/2012 23:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 038

You deserved it 8 673

By uhoh - 16/02/2013 05:27 - Canada - Sechelt

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 553

You deserved it 59 974

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 933

You deserved it 10 196

Orders

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 197

You deserved it 9 151

nolaneldridge 1

Saturday 15 October 2011 6:06

"get ready to feel the thunda!!!"

TheFakeFamilyGuy 9

Saturday 15 October 2011 6:05

Is he?

Comments

Nudi_fml 13

Saturday 15 October 2011 13:18

Does your username "Myasshurts" have anything to do with the steamy lovemaking?

Haiana04 3

Saturday 15 October 2011 14:04

...AND WE HAVE A WINNER!

LadyLexi 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 14:07

47 - No sir, you have failed.

blowntegdb8 5

Saturday 15 October 2011 14:10

Should have told him to make your pussy rain!! I wouldn't have gone and said that without turning that steam into a downpour ...between your legs!

spunkler1 1

Saturday 15 October 2011 14:25

Dont feel too bad...mine does the same thing:/

kayakingkitten 5

Saturday 15 October 2011 14:37

Sounds like a keeper!

QTp13 10

Saturday 15 October 2011 18:02

Sounds like something my boyfriend would do. FYL OP D:

JamesOnToast 5

Saturday 15 October 2011 19:07

So then, your boyfriends Thor?

lulzworthy 3

Saturday 15 October 2011 19:56

Your fault, get a less shitty relationship.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 15 October 2011 21:04

I found this utterly hilarious. But some advice - maybe you should find out about your different senses of humor BEFORE sleeping with him? Just a thought.