Intimacy: Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped,...

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 363

You deserved it 7 467

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Same thing different taste

By FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 231

You deserved it 450

By Wheresthecreamfilling - 03/11/2016 06:03

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 098

You deserved it 1 903

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 011

You deserved it 8 075

By Heww - 28/09/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 374

You deserved it 5 376

You OK, hun?

By Porche - 12/11/2015 16:24 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 591

You deserved it 4 670

Yummy

By Cupcakes - 15/04/2013 05:11 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 656

You deserved it 53 753

By Glutton - 28/01/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 261

You deserved it 49 610

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 378

You deserved it 3 123

By still hungry - 21/04/2012 13:04 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 326

You deserved it 4 158

By Anonymous - 24/11/2013 18:31 - France

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 548

You deserved it 4 518

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Thursday 3 February 2011 1:05

YDI for dating a cop(;

coralita 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 1:03

he should of brought you one!

Comments

Privations_fml 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 1:37

He needed something to eat, lol. Sex burns calories. What's wrong? Or he could just be a fatty. In that case, YDI for ******* him in the first place.

Wheredidgrungego 12

Thursday 3 February 2011 4:13

Fat people need love too!

Privations_fml 3

Thursday 3 February 2011 4:32

True :/ Well... we wouldn't know!

miss_Ali 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 1:43

what kind of dounut

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Sunday 28 April 2013 1:48

Does it matter?! All doughnuts are delicious!!!

lilcc86 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 1:47

wow are you that horrible that he needed a doughnut to have some satisfaction?

acmilan721 4

Thursday 3 February 2011 1:49

awwww how romantic:)

harmsfarms 3

Thursday 3 February 2011 1:49

what an a$$hole!

awesomesauce8 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 1:51

so...?

princess_patches 2

Thursday 3 February 2011 1:51

well he's gotta work off the donut as he's eating it hahaha

ashmart54 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 1:54

I mean did u guys eat b4 if u didnt then I don't blame him lol

kiketag 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 2:05

homer and marge hu?

BoobooBear8 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 2:10

is he fat?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here" from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 056

You deserved it 8 155

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

The Top

Today, I was at a local restaurant. When I went to pay my bill, one of the owners jokingly said, "Are you here to apply for a job?" Since I've been unemployed for a while and trying to find work, I said, "What would you like me to do?" She replied, "That was a rhetorical question." I knew it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 96

Today, I noticed that the glasses I got this week seemed off balance. A further inspection showed that one of my ears is bigger than the other. Through even further inspection, my family concluded that the entire right side of my body is higher than my left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 167

Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 700

You deserved it 4 322

Today, I noticed that when my boyfriend is sick, his sex drive goes through the roof. Too bad his stamina plummets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 208

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 117

You deserved it 6 917

Today, I tried to get the day off because of snow and ice on the roads, which had already caused 2 accidents close to my house. My boss just called me a useless millennial, fired me, and hung up the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 337

You deserved it 1 292

Same thing different taste

Sick burn

You OK, hun?

Yummy

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