Intimacy: Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on... - FML

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By Anonymous - 21/12/2009 08:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 341

You deserved it 19 987

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Same thing different taste

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 857

You deserved it 6 064

Make your mind up!

By nextcontestant16 - 19/11/2012 15:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 608

You deserved it 5 129

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 050

You deserved it 4 498

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Spicy

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 574

You deserved it 6 835

Major red flag

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom - Ashfield

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend has been super nice to me all day and I was enjoying the attention. At bedtime, he asked me if I was happy, I said yes, he asked if was I happy enough to try butt stuff. I said no, like I do every time he asks for butt stuff. He turned over and went to sleep. So much for being nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 539

You deserved it 594

Enticing

By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 21:19 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 296

You deserved it 9 635

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 894

You deserved it 11 312

By Married Life 101 - 16/05/2019 02:41

Spicy

Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 575

You deserved it 249

By anon - 27/07/2015 04:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 575

You deserved it 5 960

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 05:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, after work, I came home to my boyfriend sleeping on the couch. Feeling romantic, I started to undo his pants. My reward was him waking up and kneeing me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 863

You deserved it 27 916

Next

Top comments

DataWhore 0

Monday 21 December 2009 16:09

he was tired, give him a break, at least he grabbed ur ass before sleeping!

spitfire35 3

Monday 21 December 2009 19:59

what would you do if he woke you up to have sex?

Comments

pwnman 33

Tuesday 10 July 2012 4:56

Your a disgusting lady. Give him a break!!

quackImapenguin 16

Wednesday 2 March 2016 8:45

Wanting to have sex makes her disgusting? Really?

26walls 3

Sunday 19 August 2012 1:51

>_>

xx_alexmagm_xx 12

Monday 5 January 2015 4:44

That reminds me of the scene in Wedding Crashers where Gloria ties Jeremy down and gets naked and sits on him

pixierara 28

Tuesday 9 June 2015 3:07

Swiggity swooty coming for that boot- nah

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Today, I rushed to work after a night of drinking and partying, and put my hair up on my way in. People started worriedly asking what happened to my head, so I looked in the mirror. I had scratches and a welt on my forehead from hitting the wall during sex last night. FML

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Today, it was Thanksgiving and the first time my boyfriend would be meeting my whole family. He was nervous so he started drinking. By the end of the night, he was belligerently drunk and kissed my aunt twice thinking it was me. FML

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You deserved it 136

Today, someone flirted with me. They kept touching me, insisting we should go out sometime, and hounding me for my number. At a family-only memorial service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 815

You deserved it 538

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 174