Intimacy: Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something...

By quirrus - 07/05/2012 09:42 - United States

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 098

You deserved it 9 834

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 4 159

By rashree - 13/02/2010 01:34 - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 729

You deserved it 3 577

By Pissy - 23/05/2019 06:05

Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 232

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 619

You deserved it 1 755

By TooShortToCleanThat - 20/03/2015 03:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 459

You deserved it 3 752

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 474

You deserved it 8 534

Size Queen

By Anonymous - 11/11/2019 05:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 260

You deserved it 14 872

By bathtime - 21/12/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 942

You deserved it 4 210

Firehose

By PissingMeOff - 16/10/2020 13:55 - United Kingdom - Durham

Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 141

By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 06:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 332

You deserved it 5 645

Comet_Candy 23

Monday 7 May 2012 15:28

That is just disgusting...

Heather645 5

Monday 7 May 2012 15:28

Wow, and your still with him?

Comments

runescaper123 0

Tuesday 8 May 2012 4:19

That's disgusting

Dylman 6

Tuesday 8 May 2012 4:57

Rather be pissed off than pissed on

joker72401 1

Tuesday 8 May 2012 4:58

Hey, see what it's like being pissed ON? Isn't that SO much worse than being pissed OFF? Omg! I just had to do that! In fact, I just made $20.00.

bkisbest96 1

Tuesday 8 May 2012 4:58

I'd get him back next time he does down on you pee in his mouth

TheNinjaBacon 8

Tuesday 8 May 2012 5:26

There is something on your face!!! It was piss!!! (you'll only get this if u have watched the asdf movies) and im sooo sorry i just had to say it

goddamniluvme 0

Tuesday 8 May 2012 6:17

Go eat some bacon...

TheNinjaBacon 8

Wednesday 9 May 2012 4:08

U no wat i think i will..... yummmm bacon

AndreKanaan 6

Tuesday 8 May 2012 5:38

That's a golden moment... Don't worry it washes straight off... Just hope you didn't have your mouth opened

MNMLUVER1248 0

Tuesday 8 May 2012 6:02

Wow that disgusting

goddamniluvme 0

Tuesday 8 May 2012 6:14

Sorry but I would beat some ass of someone did a nasty thing like that to me. Girlfriend or not we bout to swinging in that tub.... That's NASTY!!!!

lewk908 13

Tuesday 8 May 2012 6:19

this is the funniest FML I've ever read

musicluvr2000 11

Tuesday 8 May 2012 6:57

Are you pissed off? Sorry, bad pun. C:

Keywords

Party Awkward Lonely Love Transportation Cars ADHD Mental health Work Ironic Vacation Grandparents Accident Miscellaneous Kids Annoying Covid Health Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Art Photography Videos Sex Intimacy Exhausted Scams

The Top

Today, the host family that I'm staying with in China gave me a small milk box to drink. It tasted a bit tangy and sour, but I thought that was probably just the taste of milk in China. Trying to be polite, I practically chugged the whole box. Later, I found out that it had expired 20 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 372

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend one last chance at fixing our failing relationship. Instead of talking about how to fix our dying relationship, he decided to game all day and ignore me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 254

You deserved it 1 917

Today, after years of being guilted for never attending family gatherings, I told my aunt that seeing her son’s face is triggering for me, because he sexually assaulted me as a child and our family swept it under the rug, and acted like it never happened. She told me to grow up, and hasn’t said a word to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 948

You deserved it 156

Today, I'm very tired because last night my cat decided to announce to the world that another cat had wandered into the backyard at the top of his lungs. At 2 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 181

Today, my girlfriend of one year broke up with me because I started having PTSD induced night terrors. On my birthday as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 92

Today, my soon-to-be former boss tried to NOT pay me for working on Christmas Eve, but I called her out. Now, she's blocked me out of her life, and is looking for my replacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 144

Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 148

You deserved it 10 124

Same thing different taste

Size Queen

Firehose

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