Health: Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran...

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By Anonymous - 30/07/2011 00:31 - United States

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 442

You deserved it 4 173

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 00:46 - United States - Kerman

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 300

You deserved it 7 316

Kinder stranger

By Me. - 11/04/2013 00:45 - United States - Ramona

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 471

You deserved it 12 721

Overreaction

By sadie - 01/04/2021 23:00

Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 116

By abi_vet_student - 13/02/2009 12:42 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 878

You deserved it 7 091

Another happy customer

By SupermarketSally - 25/11/2016 13:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 265

You deserved it 594

Face it!

By MooCow - 13/07/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 603

You deserved it 15 795

By ddriver100 - 05/06/2019 18:00

Today, I picked up some of my friends from a bar downtown. They were pretty drunk and were yelling stupid things at people walking by. After stopping to let a fat guy cross the street, they yelled, "Hurry up fatty!" He responded by throwing his milkshake at my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 616

You deserved it 817

By sumerflame07 - 01/12/2010 20:18 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, the elderly lady in front of me had forgotten to pay for her milk. In the spirit of the season, I paid for it and wished her happy holidays. She snatched the milk and gave me an ugly look. Then huffed at me before stomping off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 362

You deserved it 3 806

What's the deal with handbags?

By Clumsy - 18/03/2022 02:00

Today, a customer yelled and cursed at me, splashing spittle in my face, and to top it all off she wished “my mom would die in a fire.” All this because I accidentally spilled her milkshake all over her Louis Vuitton handbag. Apparently, it “costs more than my rent.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 287

By squeltorey - 03/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Whittier

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 829

You deserved it 11 181

NickyK 25

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:22

May the pasteurization be with you.

Omit 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:20

That happens a lot these days

Comments

IDontKnow10101 14

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:24

sounds like someone drank too much milk :/

ed11 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:24

awkward

xPhoBiuHzZz 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:24

sour milk?

Nevitt 9

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:25

and they say Milk is good for your bones...

PunaniSeeds 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 8:09

it still is

owen_gaboury 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:25

how do you know she was fourteen?

Kartor 6

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:32

Damn! You beat me to it!

fishboy123 7

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:48

i was gonna say the same thing.

fishboy123 7

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:48

i was gonna say the same thing.

monkeys1315 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:50

It was probably just a guesstamation.

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Saturday 30 July 2011 8:08

He obviously asked her, duuuuuuurrrr.

wooptheresheis 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:00

means this one is fake

CaramelRainbows 2

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:25

you were fifth.

nickiforever21 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:26

Ah. Teen these days. Smh

harrywestt 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:26

this should be on mlia

harrywestt 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:28

wow looks like FML hates M L I A

Livinia 11

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:27

Don't mess with the cow master.

EmilyTheLost 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:28

got milk?

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You deserved it 398

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I agree, your life sucks 38 161

You deserved it 9 756

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You deserved it 3 278

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I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 192

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I agree, your life sucks 1 952

You deserved it 168

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 574

You deserved it 7 656

Same thing different taste

Kinder stranger

Overreaction

Another happy customer

Face it!

What's the deal with handbags?

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