Miscellaneous: Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and...

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By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 389

You deserved it 6 390

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By Anonymous - 17/01/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I was walking my big, fat, fluffy old dog when I saw my crush. I waved enthusiastically, but my dog chose that moment to squat down and unleash a string of poop. My crush looked horrified as I tried to scoop it up while still waving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 164

By chris - 09/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 873

You deserved it 10 791

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 400

You deserved it 4 665

By clumsy - 07/05/2013 00:45 - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 849

You deserved it 54 020

So sorry!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 559

You OK, Human?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when I slipped on some mud and fell onto my ass. As I fell, I let go of the leash, and my dog just stood there, staring at me in what seemed like curious judgment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 124

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 168

You deserved it 9 130

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 138

Farm life

By FarmerGirl - 09/10/2012 18:43 - Canada - Brossard

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 155

You deserved it 3 709

By psh_idontbite - 13/03/2015 03:55 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 722

You deserved it 3 563

maz95 17

Friday 15 March 2013 16:01

Your dog was just showing off what your crush is missing.

electrorange 13

Friday 15 March 2013 15:58

Maybe a preview of things to come!

Comments

Donat96 20

Saturday 16 March 2013 3:13

Not the bitch you wanted to bang.

jack_splat 11

Saturday 16 March 2013 3:18

Maybe your crush is into doggy style.

notforbirds 9

Saturday 16 March 2013 4:15

I think the dog made his message clear

someguy314159265 15

Saturday 16 March 2013 7:54

I really like those kinds of FML stories, where something bad happens to the person, and then something else happens just to add insult to injury.

GuinnessGirrrl 8

Saturday 16 March 2013 9:02

Your dog was showing dominance over you... apparently, he needs a strong pack leader & a vet to neuter him

XavierShade18 3

Saturday 16 March 2013 9:23

Doggy just wants to show them how to do it. Nothing wrong with a little instruction.,.

Lux2123 3

Saturday 16 March 2013 9:25

XD way embarrassing!

aimeecuria 9

Saturday 16 March 2013 13:03

HAHAHHA GOLD

ZachZ1995 3

Saturday 16 March 2013 14:10

At least u know ull get some from ur dog

MDNative 6

Saturday 16 March 2013 21:31

now your crush thinks you're already taken

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The Top

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 948

You deserved it 7 059

Today, my boyfriend of over a year still refuses to acknowledge our relationship on social media because he “wants to keep things private.” He posts about his dogs, his car, gym selfies, his beer outings with the boys, even his favorite team scores, but when it comes to me, suddenly it’s “I want to keep it private.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 185

The Top

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 478

You deserved it 13 720

Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 138

You deserved it 449

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 146

You deserved it 4 488

Today, with the swipe of a button, my credit union decided that I've moved across the country to an entirely different state. They politely sent me a letter notifying me that 'I' had changed my address, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 106

Today, I came to realize that dating as an overweight girl sucks. I can’t get a guy to commit/stay to save my life. I go on dating apps, and when we exchange photos or meet in person they abandon me. I know that this will change if I lose weight, but is it wrong for me to want to be loved for who I am? FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 626

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 759

You deserved it 3 732