Health: Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set...

By broken finger - 18/07/2013 20:53 - United States

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 391

You deserved it 12 033

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/06/2015 01:22 - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 892

You deserved it 14 215

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 616

You deserved it 33 003

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 4 988

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 7 421

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 18:57 - United States

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 013

You deserved it 7 038

By Fattypatty - 09/07/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 322

You deserved it 58 280

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625

You deserved it 3 725

By Sica - 15/03/2012 19:28 - France

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 739

You deserved it 6 410

By neednewshoes - 07/12/2017 01:30

Today, like every day, I flushed a public toilet with my foot. Today, unlike every day, my foot missed the handle and landed in the unflushed water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 439

You deserved it 5 002

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 346

You deserved it 35 656

profoundkisses 18

Friday 19 July 2013 7:26

Use your other hand!

revan546 24

Friday 19 July 2013 7:26

Sounds like a shitty situa- no... No.. Im better than this...

Comments

xxsakuraxx 29

Saturday 20 July 2013 5:08

**screams*like*Amanda*Bynes*doing*an*Ask*Ashley*skit*on*All*That** USE YOUR OTHER HAND! How hard is that to figure out? You were born with two of them! Why would you use your hand with a broken finger to wipe your ass anyway? Man!

YesIAmPlease 4

Saturday 20 July 2013 5:19

I think I love you.

kalbrek009 20

Saturday 20 July 2013 6:23

I know from experience (had a fractured hand once) that its a no-brainer to realize that even though awkward...you have to use the other hand! So stop dipping in the toiled & either lift up to wipe or use your non dominant hand. How difficult can it be to understand...?

swedeNix 13

Saturday 20 July 2013 7:00

Use ur other hand or buy a box of latex gloves:)

SlashX19 16

Saturday 20 July 2013 7:03

How bout standing?

eightpack007 7

Saturday 20 July 2013 9:11

Flush before you wipe dumbass

mr_obvious 0

Saturday 20 July 2013 9:45

How can so many people agree with this? The person is an idiot... DO NOT HAVE KIDS!!!

darviller 17

Saturday 20 July 2013 10:23

Wipe with the other hand, you literal dip shit.

specialeducation 12

Saturday 20 July 2013 12:57

Wait..... So I was a little confused as to why your hand would go anywhere near into the toilet. But then someone commented "lift your ass" and "stand up to wipe." Wtf?? I thought everyone stood up. Well, idk why you wouldn't.