Health: Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set...

By broken finger - 18/07/2013 20:53 - United States

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 395

You deserved it 12 034

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/06/2015 01:22 - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 895

You deserved it 14 219

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 617

You deserved it 33 004

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 683

You deserved it 4 995

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 491

You deserved it 7 423

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 18:57 - United States

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 015

You deserved it 7 039

By Fattypatty - 09/07/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 325

You deserved it 58 286

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 3 728

By Sica - 15/03/2012 19:28 - France

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 743

You deserved it 6 411

By neednewshoes - 07/12/2017 01:30

Today, like every day, I flushed a public toilet with my foot. Today, unlike every day, my foot missed the handle and landed in the unflushed water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 439

You deserved it 5 006

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 347

You deserved it 35 660

profoundkisses 18

Friday 19 July 2013 7:26

Use your other hand!

revan546 24

Friday 19 July 2013 7:26

Sounds like a shitty situa- no... No.. Im better than this...

Comments

nattlecakes 19

Friday 19 July 2013 23:13

Use the other hand, or stand up to wipe!

the_real_aquaman 5

Friday 19 July 2013 23:33

stand up or use other hand

ballpython 15

Friday 19 July 2013 23:39

...Or call your dog in (assuming you have one) and tell him to go to town. Dogs love to eat shit.

ratorr2 23

Saturday 20 July 2013 0:06

Where's your brain? Might try using that once in awhile.

msbeans07 2

Saturday 20 July 2013 0:10

Learn to wipe your ass with your other hand, unless you enjoy turd touching.

AzWolf 5

Saturday 20 July 2013 0:39

Stand and bend. Get your ass away from the water.

MrNoLyrics 4

Saturday 20 July 2013 1:45

What I found odd was that your finger touched the water. How frigging big are your hands? My hands are HUGE and that wouldn't even be possible for me!