Work: Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college,...

By AntSimo - 19/05/2009 07:46 - South Africa

Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 661

You deserved it 2 968

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Same thing different taste

You're nicked

By DrunkenValor - 06/09/2009 04:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 305

You deserved it 3 466

Appropriate force

By Peppered and Zapped - 07/04/2020 05:00

Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 119

You deserved it 209

By Zizi - 04/07/2015 13:18 - Norway - Mosj?en

Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 1 758

By ramis182 - 27/03/2012 00:17 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 587

You deserved it 4 671

Public freakout

By selfdefense - 12/10/2009 04:16 - United Kingdom

Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 691

You deserved it 2 574

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 569

You deserved it 11 412

Fingered

By Anonymous - 13/04/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 108

Better safe than sorry, but…

By Anonymous - 25/10/2023 00:00

Today, I got tackled by a bouncer in a club and handed to police for spiking my date's drink. It was an ice cube. I'd asked the barman for some ice cubes, which I put in both my drink and hers, and someone assumed I was slipping her a roofie and reported me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 120

No good deed…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 126

You deserved it 4 282

By ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 576

You deserved it 10 080

stig53kr 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 17:05

A CV is short for curriculum vitae or more commonly known as a résumé.

notmuch 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 16:18

Wait what? Who pressed the charges if not you?

Comments

Twins_Rock27 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 21:54

wtf why couldent you say you where the wrong guy i am shure they have a picture of him!!! du if you didnt know that your an idot!!!

pantalones 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 21:59

A CV is not the same as a resume. Resumes should generally be 1 page. CV's are unlimited amount of pages documenting in detail all your work, research, and presentations.

waxstigmata 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 22:30

the whole situation does kind of suck hard, not your fault it will clear up i'm sure.

CapriceClassic 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 23:46

Seriously? It's a ****, get over it.

wbrycem 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 0:12

11 - I've been to many bars many times and have never gotten punched in the face or assaulted in any way. He just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time with a guy who had a stick up his ass. That could've happened anywhere. You need to get out more ...

drunkenatheist 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 0:38

@11: Really? Going out for one or two beers early in the evening is irresponsible? Note that the OP didn't mention how many drinks he had, when he had gone out, or how long he had been at the bar before all this drama. @ all of you dingleberries who don't know wtf you're talking about re: a CV: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curriculum_vitae#Curriculum_Vitae A CV is not just a British thing and is used in the US (teaching is one field I know of that uses them...maybe the wiki goes more into it). According to the wiki - which is what I thought - a CV is far more in-depth and includes info like awards, as well as every job you have ever held. Resumes traditionally only go back 3 jobs or 5 years (possibly 10), depending on which is shorter, and are only supposed to highlight things like your educational level, your core responsibilities at past jobs, and any special skills that would be beneficial to the field you're applying. Jesus, Google and Wiki aren't that hard to operate. If all of you whiners had taken a few seconds, you would have known wtf a CV was. OP: that sucks, dude, but it should be no problem to get it straightened out.