Transportation, Weird and Airplanes: Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight,...

By legitweirdo - 08/01/2013 04:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 854

You deserved it 2 700

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Same thing different taste

Have a nice trip!

By whatsmccraken - 10/09/2009 12:37 - Taiwan

Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 794

You deserved it 2 308

Unflattered

By lindsay - 28/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 154

By Ashleigh - 22/04/2011 18:43 - United States

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 736

You deserved it 3 487

By planes - 30/12/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 007

You deserved it 2 614

By skrillexblewme - 02/08/2012 16:30 - United States

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 2 435

Salivating

By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 06:08 - United States

Today, I flew into Denver. Never having been here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 627

You deserved it 29 516

By GeorgiaBOYY - 04/01/2010 17:40 - United States

Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 168

You deserved it 8 195

By Flyier - 30/09/2017 04:30

Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 962

You deserved it 299

Travelling light

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 180

You deserved it 1 175

By lotd - 31/07/2012 23:28 - United Kingdom - Henley On Thames

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 138

You deserved it 2 071

talloctopus 7

Tuesday 8 January 2013 8:59

Hope he made a wish first.

pinkpixie06 11

Tuesday 8 January 2013 8:58

Ugh...*heebie jeebie dance*

Comments

The_1_One 3

Tuesday 8 January 2013 12:48

absolutely GROOSSSS.

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 8 January 2013 12:51

Ugh! I thought he was going to blow it and make a wish or something, not eat it! :P

MeikoD 4

Tuesday 8 January 2013 13:09

He's actually a robot, fueled by keratin... There was an incident at the hairdressers and now he's banned... Don't judge him!

charvisioku 22

Tuesday 8 January 2013 13:10

Sounds like something Salad Fingers would do.

Reaper1984 13

Tuesday 8 January 2013 18:54

I like rusty spoooooons..... lmao

TweakerD 4

Tuesday 8 January 2013 13:35

He was just screwing with you (hopefully). You should have found some other spare hairs and given them to him...

buckdharma 37

Tuesday 8 January 2013 13:54

Maybe the salty peanuts make him thirsty.

thesingerfml 1

Tuesday 8 January 2013 14:04

That was the best fml I've read in years.

rasta76 9

Tuesday 8 January 2013 14:08

i guess this is his definition of a tongue lashing.

buddy51 23

Tuesday 8 January 2013 14:30

Sing the score of les mis to him while feeding him plucked body hair...

mandachea10 8

Tuesday 8 January 2013 15:03

I think that was the best thing to suffice you being inside him at the moment...hah oh god.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, I have two options: 1. Use powder deodorant and don't have body odor for at least two days but get a rash, or 2. Use non powder deodorant without aluminium and not get a rash but get body odor the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 124

Today, I received an overdue bill for my now nonexistent car that caught fire in July. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 185

You deserved it 3 574

Today, my son was so hungover at his wedding that he fell asleep standing at the altar and fell over onto his pregnant wife, knocking her backwards onto the floor. What should have been a happy occasion turned into a farce as we rushed her to hospital to check the baby was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 124

Today, I tried talking to my doctor about my insomnia several times, but all she does is prescribe me antidepressants, and tells me to take melatonin or exercise. I ate two melatonin gummies nearly 12 hours ago. I haven’t slept a wink, and my insurance won’t pay for another doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 145

Today, I decided to confess my feelings and perform a love song I'd written for my crush during an open mic night. He was there - he also took the opportunity to declare his love to his on-off girlfriend, get down on one knee and propose to her. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832

You deserved it 548

Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 117